[salukigirl]

I put the trigger there because this post involves drugs....

I was reading about "underground therapists" that use MDMA for couples therapy. As many of you know my boyfriend is very closed off. He isn't very good at opening up resulting in him exploding over little things that don't matter. He tries to open up but I can see it in his eyes that he still holds back. He has trained himself to hold things in from being totally ridiculed as a teenager for being emotional.

So my question is about using MDMA as emotional therapy for people because the research shows that very small amounts can help people open up and feel more connected and feel more empathy.

Has anyone ever had experience or known someone who has had an experience with this? I really think that my bf could benefit from something kind of forcing him to open up and look at his own feelings. And that maybe, over time, it will become natural for him to do.

Please no posts about how bad drugs are. I'm very aware of this and MDMA has been used by Ts in couples therapy. I'm not talking 10 pills here, I'm talking extremely small amounts over a short period of time. So please only open minded responses to this.

[Yoda]

Not familiar with this therapy. Is the MDMA a short term use or longer? Short term use might be reasonable if there are gains to be had.

[saywhat?]

No judgements here, it sounds interesting....
Is there a legal route to obtain MDMA? Like a prescription?

Anyway, I'm responding b/c I have *kinda* similar situation, but
I'm the one more cut off than hubby and it's been a real barrier in our
therapy sessions. But my holdback is more trust related vs. traumatic
event in the past. I have almost a phobia of talking about my feelings/emotions
to hubby/friends/family in PERSON. Like extreme stage fright! I can do better via email, but I can completely spill my guts on forums like this one when it's to total strangers!

Have you mentioned any of this to your bf? and if so how does he feel about it?
Does he WANT to be more open and connected or does he go to therapy just b/c you want him to?

I'm going to have to go look this up now......thanks for the post!

[salukigirl]

Yoda - It was made illegal in the 70s. It can still be given by a medical professional but I'm not sure of the circumstances.

It's not like an anti-depressant where you are told to take it basically forever. It increases the amount of Oxytocin in your system which is the same thing pregnant women and new mothers have in abundance allowing bonding and that "cuddling" want with your child. So it makes you feel closer, be able to talk openly etc...

So it would be like going into a therapy session for a few hours.

I have talked to him and we have gone to couples therapy. He does want to and has opened up to me about a lot and told me things he's never told anyone else. So I know that he WANTS to. It's just trying to get him in the habit of opening up naturally and letting go of the negative feelings associated with being open and honest.

Thanks for being open about this. I appreciate it. I was anticipating some negative thoughts about it. Glad I was proven wrong

[FooZe]

I've been in altered states of consciousness on occasion but my personal impression is that the ones I gained the most from weren't drug-assisted and the ones that were drug-assisted didn't seem to leave me with very much that I could take away from the experience afterwards.

Pretty much everything I've ever participated in that I found life-changing in any way, whether it was a friendship, some sort of therapy, a group experience, or (infrequently) a chemically induced state, I've later found myself wanting or even needing to repeat. Much more often than not, it's looked to me afterwards as if it was that particular friend, that particular therapist, that particular group, or that particular chemical that had worked whatever magic there had been, so the experience wasn't going to be available to me without them.

I know that at times I've thought so even about experiences that I later found I could create for myself without outside assistance, chemical or otherwise. Quite likely, if I'd been holding out for outside assistance I wouldn't have discovered what I could do without it.

[DocJohn]

In the US, as in most industrialized countries, MDMA remains illegal. It is used for research purposes only, and is not available by prescription.

We do not condone discussions of illegal drugs, but if you keep the discussion related to the research into this drug and its potential therapeutic use, we will keep this discussion open.

Thanks,
DocJohn

[lizardlady]

Salukigirl, I'm glad you said your boyfrin is willing to go to therapy and try opening up. In your initial post you said something about forcing him to open up. That sent up a huge red flag for me. IMHO we should never try to force someone to open up. If we want someone to trust us enough to open to us we sure as heck shouldn't try and force them into it. That's counterproductive. From your second post I see my initial understanding was wrong.

back to your original question....

I would be reluctant to use any chemical to encourage someone to open up. Like Fool Zero mentioned, "insights" gathered under the influence tend to not seem so insightful when the chemical wears off.
You say your boyfriend has opened up to you and told you things he never told anyone else. Why do you want him to open up even more? To me learning to open up is a matter of trust. Trust is not something that can be forced or hurried. People develop trust over time. Maybe he needs more time to open up more?

[madisgram]

hi saluki, i "reaserched" some articles re MDMA for use in therapy. this is just my conclusion based the opinion of researchers: there are so many legal, effective, therapies that provide successful results for ppl that i don't feel it is necessary to go "out of the box" to achieve good outcomes with clients in therapy.

[alias123]

It's interesting. I know that this was one of MDMA's original uses before it become renowned for being a club drug.

I'm not sure how long lasting the change would be. I think the reason that therapy is so useful is because it retrains how we think about and approach situations, and it shows us that we are agents in our own change. It empowers people. But using a drug to take a sort of short cut to achieve intimacy/openness will not reinforce these ideas. So while he may in fact open up to you during these sessions, it will not establish a groundwork for continued openness, and it will probably not let him feel he is empowered in his own efforts to change. It will not show him that he can approach situations differently. That's just my opinion.

I have heard some talk of using MDMA and even some hallucinogens, in very small doses, for therapeutic reasons. Having had experience with a hallucinogen, I can say that while you do experience a sense of awakening and connection and FEEL changed, this isn't a long lasting experience you can take into your life to build a healthy infrastructure in which to live.

[salukigirl]

http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07...tsd/15778.html

This I actually found on Psych Central. I know that there is a lot of research showing it is good for people with PTSD. My rationale is that consistently being bullied as a kid and throughout your teenage years, could be seen as a form of PTSD. He has changed his lifestyle and behavior based on these experiences. This is why I'm wondering if it might show the same benefits here.

But you guys do make a good point and made me think of something else. If he is under the influence and opens up about something that his mind or emotions were not ready for, he might feel embarrassed afterwards. Just like if you do something while drinking and the next day think "man, I shouldn't have said that".

Thanks for making this an open discussion. I have already learned a lot and hope it continues. Thank you, Doc John for being supportive and allowing this thread to continue.