[confusedandhurt501]

I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for 6.5. we have a wonderful 5 year old. My husband, for a couple of years repeatedly accussed me of cheating on him. I never did, there was never any reason to suspect that. In the mean time, he has texted an ex girlfriend, emailed another ex girlfriend and "jokingly" texted a mutual female friend about sex. I don't believe he ever physically did anything with any of this girls, however, I do beleive he had emotional affair with all of them. He told me that the only reason he was emailing his ex girlfriend was because he liked the what she said to him and the way she made him feel. What do I do? I love him. I feel I eventually will be able to trust him again, but I am afraid I will always fear this happening again. I have told him that if he were ever tempted to do this again that he needed to get divorce papers before he did it. I don't want a divorce but I can't put my self through this again.

Right after I found all of this out, I made an appointment and was started on medication for depression. I scheduled an appointment with a therapist, but it has been a month and a half and I still have 2 weeks until my appointment. I feel like I am going crazy. Like I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should stay and risk this happening again or just go.

I need someone's advice.

Anything would be appreciated.

[cutebagaddict08]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. But you have shown a strong step in taking care of yourself during all this (ie: therapy and such.)
Have you been able to talk to your husband about why he seems not be emotionally involved your relationship?

[Yoda]

I don't know the answer to your situation but I wanted to welcome you to psychcentral. Let us know how things go when you get started with your therapist.

[IceCreamKid]

I'm sorry to see you are so upset. For the sake of your child, though, try to calm down and forget about divorce right now. Your husband was honest in one respect: he said he liked the way this woman made him 'feel'. I think you've been married just long enough for the novelty to have worn off and real life to have set in. It's not always the man who does this sort of trying out a new person; sometimes women do it too. But it's not the answer and I'm hoping he will see that his true joy is in a happy home with you and your child. So, slow down, take a few deep breaths, and please consider marital counseling.

[milrhea]

I'm sorry to hear this, but I think you really need those counseling. Think always of your child to relieve your depression. Be ready for all the consequence that may happen. If your husband decided to leave then let him do it. Don't worry you are still good and still YOU even if he is not around. Read more divorce information to know more about your situation, on how to deal with it.

[confusedandhurt501]

My husband has agreed to marriage counseling. I am starting to do the things that I need to do to be happy, even things I havent done in the past because I have been too depressed/unmotivated. I have realized that it is time to really do what is going to make me happy, and not just worry about what he is doing or what he would want me to do.

In our relationship, he has placed so much blame on me, but then denies that he has. It is always my fault one way or another. I am done feeling like that. He told me the other day (something that I am sure came from his therapist...but thats a different story) that there is no such thing as a bad decision. It doesnt matter who's feelings you hurt as long as you do what will make you happy. (Sounds like an excuse not to feel bad, if you ask me) Right now, what will make me happy is taking care of myself and my daughter...not catering to his every need/want. I am going to do what I need to do and what will make me happy.

[IceCreamKid]

Good for you! You are doing the right thing. I'm glad to read your post.