I've been physically ill lately. Sometimes when this happens, it interferes with metabolism of my medications. Especially if I get sick to my stomach or have what I'll delicately call "digestive distress," my medication may be ejected, or pass through my system too fast, and I don't get the full benefit.

I warned my husband that since this is happening to me, I might start acting a little strangely because my med levels will be off. He reacted, "Well, try not to. That's one of the roughest parts of being married to you."

Any time I need psychological help, it seems like he focuses more on the inconvenience to him than he does on what I might be feeling. All he talks about is how much it's going to cost him to pay the medical bill, how much trouble it is to take me to the hospital, whatever. I told him, "If you think it's hard being you in that situation, try being me." But he doesn't get it. He expects me to just decide to be normal.

Am I being *oversensitive,* or is he being *undersensitive*?

[Leed]

Gee, if my ex wasn't dead, I'd think you were married to him! YES he's being insensitive!! In fact, he's being a total JERK. What's the matter with him anyway? I wonder how he'd feel if HE got sick and all you were worried about was the hospital bill? You'll have to remember this cause sometime it's going to happen. Paybacks can be hell. LOL

I'd let him know that what he said was hurtful -- and that he's making you feel like a "burden" to him. That all he cares about is HIS wallet -- and the time it takes to drive you to the hospital!!! If that's the way it is, you'll start marking your time down on a time slip, and he can pay you each week for your household duties ~ which, by the way are MORE than HE can afford!!!

Bless your heart -- I know how this feels - cause I was married to one of those jerks myself. It hurts to have those kind of remarks thrown your way. My prayers are with you. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[danvb]

**sigh**

Why do men have to act that way with the women they love?

I truly, truly do not understand why.

I just don't get it.

Yes, what he is doing is insensitive, not supportive and CERTAINLY not loving.

LovebirdsFlying, it is not your imagination and you are not being oversensitive.

You have every right to feel upset with him...

Yes he is insensitive.Reminds me of the taxi ride home from inpatient while husband gambled in vegas.You aren't being sensitive.

The follow-up is, I mentioned it again and he seemed to have no memory of me saying it the first time. Strange. At least he didn't respond unsupportively the second time. The best explanation I can come up with is, maybe timing has something to do with it. If his whole mind isn't on what I'm saying, it's possible that he'll blurt out something insensitive, and then not remember it later.

About the stressing over the bills, my T agrees that I am not the person he should be venting to about medical bills. I suggest his cousin, who is also his best friend, AND a nurse AND on psych meds too.

Ahhh...I didnt even leave room for misunderstanding.Happens to me alot.I assume alot about people.I call it "mindreading." And I can see how that could happen.((((((LBF))))))~W~

What strikes me as odd is that, the second time I mentioned it, he seemed to have no memory that it came up before. Maybe when he is tired or distracted, he will not only respond inappropriately, but also not remember the conversation later. My part will be to make sure he can concentrate fully on what I'm saying, when I have to tell him something important. His part, or what I ask of him, is simply to understand that I have an illness, which has a set of symptoms that are often hard for me to manage.

This is an astute position ;I think,for you to take.It says alot about your character.