[ReneeDawn]

My husband and I have been married a little over 5 months. A few weeks ago he was offered a new job and we will be moving to a new state in a matter of weeks. However, this has been more troubling than we thought.

The main problem is money issues. We now have seperate accounts but are wanting to put them together when we move. He is on salary so no matter how many days he works or misses, his checks are always the same amount. I, however, work on an hourly base. And I'm paid biweekly. So missing work is sometimes not an option for me. Luckily, I found me a job in Georgia that pays the same, but is also hourly and biweekly. I can't seem to get a salery based job.

However, I believe my husband sometimes forgets this and wants me to keep taking days off so we can go to Georgia to get things done. I know it's important to get some things done as soon as possible, such as getting a place to stay, changing our licenses and plates, all that jazz, but when it seems that I'm running low of money or get a small check, he really gets nervous and wonders why. Then I must read my statements aloud to tell him where my money is going (which now is only on groceries and gas) and then explian over and over on how the more hours I miss at work, the less money I get. Then before I know it he is wanting me to ask for more days off and the whole process starts over.

He's only had jobs that our salary based so I don't think that he understands what it's like to work on hourly based. We've dated for 3 years before marriage I was hoping he'd get it by now since the only jobs I have had are hourly based.

I'm at my limit with him on this. We are constantly fussing about money and moving that I'm stressed beyond reief. Not to mention I'm afraid we are going to run out of money if this keeps up.

[RomanSunburn]

Hello Renee!

It kind of amuses me that your husband thinks nothing of taking days off because he is salaried. My fiance is kind of the completely opposite, takes as little time off from work as possible. He worked a half day the day we had to fly home for my grandmother's funeral.

Anyways, I kind of understand where you are coming from. My fiance and I have been together for five years (engaged on Christmas) and we recently moved to another state (from the east coast to the midwest) for a job for him. Before we moved out here, he was only working part time himself as a tutor at the high school and I was in college. We both traveled to look for apartments before moving so we'd have some place to move right into. Otherwise, everything else waited until we moved here. I still have changed my license plate or my license (and we've been here since June but I have to do it this month). We basically put everything on a credit card which has no interest until May or something, and my fiance is steadily paying it down each month. But yes, we are short on money. I work two jobs, both with out a lot of hours, both not a whole lot of money, and both hourly with bi-weekly paychecks. If anything needs to get down between nine and five that he can't do over the phone on his lunch break, I have to take care of it, such as getting his car new license plates. We also have separate accounts right now (though, I do have a card for his credit card with my name on it). We don't really fight about money much, you just have me sitting there going "Where did it all go? Why does everyone think we have money when we don't??"

I don't really have much advice, I just wanted you to know I understand your frustrations. Perhaps some of the things that he thinks need to be done can actually wait until you get there when you don't have to take off a bunch of days at once to travel. Perhaps your husband could take care of some of these things on his own if he feel it is absolutely necessary to go there before the move. You could also try making a budget together (something my fiance and I keep trying to do ourselves) that says how much you make every two weeks, how that money is spent, etc. Maybe even hang it on the fridge so he has to look at it everyday.

Moving is super stressful. They say there are, I think, 5 major stressors that affect people. Marriage, moving, and new jobs are on that list. Try to take some time for you just to relax and not worry about everything. I'm sorry I can't be more help. I just wanted you to know you weren't alone.

Take care!
Ro

[ReneeDawn]

Thank you, and it's okay, it was more of a rant anyway. We're still having issues but I'm trying to talk to him more and more and try to get him to see thing sin my perspective. Doesn't seem to be working very well. I know a lot of it is because he's just anxious and ready to get things done and out of the way. Of course, it can't always work like that.

That's funny our stories are similar in the opposite way. We're moving from the midwest to the east coast and you were vice versa

Thanks for your support