[embracinglife]

I watched a TED talk that someone on here recommended, having to do with shame and vulnerability. here is the link: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown...erability.html

Anyways, I'm realizing that this is probably one of my biggest issues. Even though I feel that I have worked through a lot of my shame with my past T's, I still feel that I can't be vulnerable with other people. I can only be vulnerable with a T. That is where I feel safe.

This is probably one thing that is majorly hindering me from connecting with other people, and that is what I want to feel....connection.

How do I overcome these fears? Where do I start? I obviously don't want to start being vulnerable with others by telling them the painful things I've been through....My T said I have healthy boundaries with those--I can share with some people once I can trust them....but it takes a long time for me to really trust people. Part of that is probably not wanting to feel vulnerable.

How do I start to be more vulnerable and trusting in small ways?

Your question is a good one for your therapist.

[danvb]

Hello embracinglife,

If I may...

Don't try too hard. You don't need to bear your soul or reveal any of your vulnerabilities that you might not feel comfortable with revealing. Take it very slowly and one step at a time. Let the others you're with lead the way. Let them know how you feel, that you aren't at ease about getting too close too fast, but that you would like to get to know them better. If they are worthy of you, they will respect your space and will allow you to move at your own pace. Connecting with another person is not something that can be forced. Be mindful of your own feelings and of the mindset and feelings of the person you are with. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't... But when it feels right... you won't fear sharing your mind with another person... But do nothing before it feels right to you. Establishing trust takes time. The person you're with must show that they are worthy of your trust...