[Shy_Gemini]

I posted before about my boyfriend of 3 months, but I am really confused and could use some insight or any advice.

From my previous post, the first two "boyfriends" I had were cheaters, abusive, and just overall very stressful and broken relationships. My new boyfriend also had the same type of previous relationships like I did.

My new boyfriend is showing me attention and affection that I am not used to like holding my hand, hugging me a lot , cuddling, and just an overall gentlemen.

The problem I have is that we are both rather shy and we both struggle with anxiety which is nice in a lot of ways. (and I have Bipolar disorder).
The problem is that I am not exactly sure how to "date" and be in a normal relationship because of horrible previous "relationships." I want to know if I'm doing something wrong or moving too fast...?

I seem to be able to open up about almost anything with him and he sits quietly a lot of the time, but acknowledges what I worry about and accepts it. I am confused though because he is really quiet, but shows that he cares for through cuddling and laughing about random movies, jokes, etc.

I don't know if I've crossed the line by telling him my fears and how I feel and some of what I've gone through (in life) within the 3 to 4 months that I've known him.

He tells me he has a difficult time communicating (opening up) and struggles with what to say most of the time. He also seems to hide his feelings and keeps what he feels inside rather than talk about it. We both also have told each other that we havent had these type of feelings for anyone before..

What I am confused about is:

- When I share my feelings to him and open up, does it push a more laid back and shy guy away?

-Why does he seem uneasy when I open up tp him? If he's not used to someone ever opening up to him and hides his feelings, am I pushing him away in some way? (He seems very quiet and possibly uneasy when I share how I feel or my worries with him,but I am not sure what he is thinking and it worries me).

I don't know if I should keep quiet around him or keep opening up like I am used to because this is who I am and what I'm used to. =/

I would like to know what this means if he shows affection, but is quiet when I open up? I feel a lot of tension and awkwardness during these times and other random times too, but I do love him.

Can anyone relate to this? Any feedback would be wonderful.

*And it seems when I tell him something that I worry about, he dismisses it and says he accepts it rather quickly even though there are definte signs he cares for me, but he is just quiet..

Help, I'm going insane.. lol

Thanks >.<

[single dad]

Communication is very hard in some relationships. One person could be open while the other may not be. I find that using a notebook and writing to each other in it can be very helpful. It can open up the lines of communication, and feelings can be better said through writing rather than conversations some times.

I too have been cheated on twice, and my only advice to you is to try and put it behind you. Look at your new boyfriend with fresh eyes. I cannot put a pre-judgement on someone because of past experiences. I trust until they give me a reason not to. Seems hard , but otherwise problems arise that shouldn't because of past feelings.

As far as the affection, take what he is giving you and enjoy the fact that he cares about you and is willing to show it. There aren't many men who do. I am one of them. I have been working on affection for a little while now and I am getting better. It is a great thing that you won't have to show him how to be affectionate.

[Shy_Gemini]

Originally Posted by single dad

Communication is very hard in some relationships. One person could be open while the other may not be. I find that using a notebook and writing to each other in it can be very helpful. It can open up the lines of communication, and feelings can be better said through writing rather than conversations some times.

I too have been cheated on twice, and my only advice to you is to try and put it behind you. Look at your new boyfriend with fresh eyes. I cannot put a pre-judgement on someone because of past experiences. I trust until they give me a reason not to. Seems hard , but otherwise problems arise that shouldn't because of past feelings.

As far as the affection, take what he is giving you and enjoy the fact that he cares about you and is willing to show it. There aren't many men who do. I am one of them. I have been working on affection for a little while now and I am getting better. It is a great thing that you won't have to show him how to be affectionate.

Thank you. Your post helped me a lot and I agree with you. It is difficult to overcome the past, but if it follows anyone it can only cause greater problems.