Not sure what to do and I feel stupid for asking...

So for over a month now I knew it was my turn to plan a date for this weekend. We are in marraige therapy and we are supposed to take turns doing this. I had planned.. and he KNEW this for weeks..to go to Sauder Village in Archbold OH.Which is about 2 hrs from where we live. They have their annual butchering day ... which I am not at all interested in yuck lol. And they also have their woodworking day and sales.Which I thought hubby would like and I know I love to watch. We have our 16th wedding anniversary coming up November 3rd and this was going to be a little trip for us to kinda remember our anniversary.Just something a little special ya know? Well on Wednesdays he finds out if he has to work on weekends... or if he can volunteer to work. Yeah... thats right .. he volunteered to work last night . That means ... he sleeps during the day today. I cannot tell you how dissappointed I am. I am sitting here just feeling so bummed. Its a beautiful fall day to be there. And yet another day I am sitting here alone and upset at him for I guess ripping my hopes for a day together to make some good memories together. Sorry if I am being a bit dramatic here. I dont mean to be. Just feelsthis way is all. I tried so hard to tell him how disappointed I was last night... he just said well maybe we can go to a movie . And normally I would be excited about doing that.. I really would. But I just dont care right now. I really dont. Its so stupid. I feel like revenge in a way. Like going shopping and spending money . BUT I AM NOT GOING TO! I know better. I just know that would be something that would hurt him. It would make him upset. That is one reason I think ( and I think he intentionally volunteered to work cause of this) he decided to work. He didnt want to spend the money to go up there on gas, food, and maybe a purchase if we saw something we liked. This was his way of "getting out of it". The more I talk about it the more mad I get. Its just not fair .. cause we are supposed to do what the other person plans whether we wnat to or not. Its supposed to help us learn what the other likes and learn to love and appreciate what that person likes. Sorry this is so long. I guess my main question is .. if he is still up to going tonight.. do I agree to go or not? Or do I stay in my bad mood lol and grump around all night? I dont want to ruin my weekend.. but yet he already did that for me in a way.. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Hugz~
Bethy

((((Beth))))

Thanks Carlolyn~I just hate these affairs of the heart.Just hate it.

Hugz~
Bethy

Bethy I told you on the phone what I thought. But what did you do hon? I know exactly what you are going thru. ((((U))))

Sounds kind of like a bad passive-aggressive kind of situation there to me... and from experience w/my husband & his family (look up passive-aggressive in the dictionary & there's a family picture of them!), I know p-a behavior.

I would try to talk it through, find out why he chose to work & make the weekend difficult instead of going out for a trip. Maybe he really is worried about money, or maybe he thought that instead of trying to find something that you would enjoy you were trying to make a grand compromise? Or maybe he's not feeling well or is tired & doesn't feel up to a long day?

Whatever happens, best of luck & hope you have a better date the next time around

Perze is right you know! Tom did exhibit some passive/agressive behavior. Too bad he chose to do it that way instead of SAYING something to you. Maybe he's concerned about money. Ummm... a lot of money got spent with your open house and he may have felt you couldn't afford an expensive "date." So... he chose to work, instead.

Still, though, he should have talked to you about it. Maybe next time you should look into something that doesn't cost money but rather focuses on intimacy between the two of you... and I'm not talking about S-E-X, either! LOL Intimacy also means getting to know each other better and knowing what makes the other tick.