[jrae]

okay, so i would like to get some advice on a situation. here goes...

in my immediate family, there is my mom and dad (married 33 years), my oldest sister and her husband (married 19 years), my older sister and her husband (married 4 years), my younger sister and her boyfriend, and then there's me! i hate family functions, because i always feel like the odd ball out. thank god my sister has two sons ages 7 1/2 & 6 for me to play with.

my latest situation is that my cousin (who is younger than me), he is getting married in july. and i don't like going to weddings in the first place, mostly cuz i'm an introvert and cuz i don't dance. but i live with my parents and they will be going, so there's no way i can get out of it.

i was thinking i could bring someone with me to the wedding, so that i didn't have to feel so alone. but i don't have a boyfriend! and the closest "guy friend" i have actually does have a girl-friend, which doesn't matter to me at all. but if i asked him to come with me, it would be the 1st time i brought a guy to a big family function. not like i care what my relatives think and my family already knows him cuz we were in a singing group together in high school.

one big problem is that the wedding is a five-hour trip from where i live (that's one-way) and my "guy friend" lives three hours from me (one-way in the opposite direction). and i don't know if it would be too weird for him or not. so i'd just like to know what others have to say about what i should do. don't be afriad to speak your mind - i wanna hear it!

[Perna]

Been there, done that I was 39 before I married.

I was thinking, were I you, I'd go to the wedding with your parents (not mess with the guy friend whose girlfriend may not like it?) with the purpose of checking out the other half of the bridal party, seeing if you can meet any guys (or girls), decide you want to make "3" new friends and use the event as an experiment. Most people will be from far away and not anyone you know well besides your parents and siblings. I know I did okay with older folks too, as well as children, maybe you can meet a neat great grandmother and hear her stories or meet someone who works at an occupation of interest to you or whose stories give you an idea for something you'd like to try (once you get home :-) Use the opportunity to try new things without as much risk as there would be otherwise. Maybe study the town/region you're going to before the wedding and see if you can go visit some site of interest to you and drag a few others along with you; maybe there's a amusement park of some sort or wave park and you can write some of your family/cousins and tell people to bring their swimming suits for a joint outing the next day, after the wedding.

I had the same younger-cousin get engaged thing and her fiance gave her a rock of a engagement ring whereas my husband and I weren't into any engagement ring at all particularly. But, I dragged him out and we bought a cheap ring just so I'd have one! I know what that assumed family pressure can do! But, if you think of your own agenda, you don't notice/think about what the other people are thinking/doing as much. Don't try to "conform" when it's difficult, since you are "different", be different and have a different agenda, all your own of what you'd like to do with a party/new people to meet/places to see and things to do (and great meals to eat? :-)

P.S. There was no orchestra/dancing at my wedding because I don't dance either :-)

[madisgram]

gosh perna had some good suggestions. only thing i'd add-since you feel you are an introvert-think of this situation as a practice session to help you make friends. if they are ppl you don't know beforehand, you can practice being more conversational since you'll probably never see them again! less pressure on you. i'll leave it at that.

[Leed]

I'm with Perna on this too. Test your wings! Learn to fly! LOL Get out there and check out the merchandise! There might be some great looking guys there who need a good looking girl to show them around. When no one's looking, you could split that dumb ole reception ~ and have some FUN! LOL Grab a bar of soap and go soap some car windows. LOL

I wouldn't bother with the guy friend either - he'd just cramp your style.

Go and have some fun. Like Madisgram said, you'll never see these people again, so who cares what they think? Have FUN. Hugs, Lee

[justjoanie]

Wow, I think Perna should be a coucelor~!!!

Awesome ideas, and I think I just may try that myself at the next big function I attend.
JJ