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#1
Mar 12, 2011, 04:55 AM
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My husband just started new medication. One of the possible side effects is a lower sex drive. Is it selfish of me to hope he gets this side effect?
Right now, sex is not something we "share", it is something he does to me. I feel so guilty wishing for him to have a lower sex drive, but I really need a break from his demands so that I have a chance to heal. I think we would have a better chance at healing out marriage if sex was temporarily out of the equation...and then I feel selfish again. I want to fulfill his needs, but sometimes it is just too much!
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#2
Mar 12, 2011, 08:00 AM
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hun from everything you've said it's not selfish at all ((((((Can't stop crying)))))) Don't feel guilty for this - it's a natural emotion considering what you've been through. I also think it's always good to talk these things over rather than cross fingers for something to just happen to make the situation better. But It would be really nice for you
 *crosses fingers*
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#3
Mar 12, 2011, 08:05 AM
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It's not selfish, it's natural. In fact, a reduction in sexual demands, if you can heal through it, might in the end lead to a better sex life for both of you, where you're not having to endure sex, but could actually enjoy it. Your husband might feel unhappy if his sex drive diminishes though, so you'd need to be sensitive to how that makes him feel about his manhood. Just take the time to heal, and hopefully with less sex in the equation you should both have time to get to know each other again.
Maybe it is selfish, I don't know... but isn't he selfish to make you do something you hate? There's nothing wrong with being a little self centred at times. You've been too giving, now it's time to give yourself a break. Don't worry... your reaction is perfectly understandable, and I also hope that his sex drive will diminish, so what does that make me? Don't worry... be happy! (I've had that song in my head all day.)
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Here I sit so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going through all these things twice. |
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#4
Mar 12, 2011, 09:01 AM
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I agree with the others. He has been selfish and taking from you. You are not being selfish to just want a little peace. Hopefully this new med will give you a little break.
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#5
Mar 12, 2011, 10:23 AM
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You need to take care of yourself first. He doesn't get to demand anything from you, you are not his sex slave. You should tell him "no" when it might be a burden/harmful to you.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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