[SmackytheFrog]

Sounds pretty violent huh? Well its just how I feel. I'm tired of this man, if you could call him that, behaving like a complete scumbag and acting like he is God's gift to the world. Sometimes I just want to slap him and tell him exactly why he is a filthy parasite in my eyes. But I'll never because I'm just not that person. But sometimes I think I should be.

I guess I should provide some back story to this outburst of rage.

My cousin's name is Gary and for the longest time he was the family's gift from above. He could do no wrong. But all he did was wrong. He started smoking, got into drugs and is now an alcoholic. He never finished high school because he was too lazy to hand in his Community Hours forms. He works full-time paying no rent and no gas or insurance but still somehow can't pay his cell phone bill (the only bill he has) and expects/leaves it to my disabled grandmother to pay for it! (these bills are generally around $300 a month!) This isn't really what bothers me, this is just some insight.

My best friend Emily dated this boy for 3 years, loved him dearly but all he did was bring her down. He made her feel like the scum of the Earth and all they did was fight. On Christmas one year he threw the tree across the living room. He cheated on her. They broke up. Then he proceeded to cheat on his then girlfriend with her, constantly telling her that he loved her and was going to leave his gf for her. All lies of course. Now he's not dating anyone but he's sleeping with 3 different women, including my friend. She knows, but she's still seeing him and she's mad about it but still returns for the abuse. WTF. But its her business I guess.

What angers me the most, what is the root of my seething rage at this moment is his absolute cruelness.

His sister is almost 2 months pregnant and she recently found out that her fetus might not have a heartbeat which will mean that she has to abort it. She's already feeling upset about this but she was holding strong. When I went to visit them last weekend I witnessed them bickering about cake. His sister was trying to tell him not to eat it all because her BF bought it for her because she was craving chocolate. He ended up blowing up (partially because he was drunk and high and part because he's just a JERK) and yelling at her "Yeah well too bad your baby doesn't have a heart beat!" She instantly began crying and took off to her mother's room. After talking to her for a bit I also found out that he'd also said that he hoped the baby died a few weeks before.

I am completely aghast and astounded that someone could be this cruel. It just blows me away to the point that I cant stop thinking about it.

Then I saw him freak out on his 2 month old puppy for pooping on the floor. She's a baby! She doesn't know any better! The puppy is scared to go outside because no one takes her outside aside to punish her! I feel so bad for her that I just want to kidnap her and train her myself. I did actually, while I was there, I taught her to sit on command. So she's definitely not a slow dog, she just needs some patience and mentoring.

I am just absolutely frustrated and I know its probably none of my business but I just want him to show some semblance of humanity! I think he needs an intervention and therapy, but how can I bring up this to my family without offending them?

Maybe offending your family is not such a bad thing if they are enabling this behavior?

[SmackytheFrog]

Touche! I am going to bring it up to his mom soon then.

Gotta LUV the Byz!!

[Xacatecas]

That is truly aweful!

As to how to bring it up, I really have no idea how to. Anything you do will offend someone. I agree though, it has to stop. Can you get a video of any of this? So he can't just deny it, perhaps if you can, try an intervention, so all of the family is behind you on it?

[SmackytheFrog]

I'm definitely going to try to get something on tape. I know that my family is all aware of Gary's using, abusing and just generally horrid nature. They all just shrug it off as "Oh he's just like is ****ing dad" BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE! His dad doesn't even have an excuse to be that way! That kind of behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE.

[RomanSunburn]

I'm probably going to take a little flak for this, but I think you need to think seriously first before bringing this up to the family. I completely agree that he is a horrible human being and he has no excuse for his behavior and that it SHOULD stop. But here's the thing, he's never going to change unless he WANTS to change, which from your post, I don't really see. It seems as though he has no remorse for any of his actions whatsoever. I also worry that if you confront family members with his behavior, they might get defensive (especially his parents and your grandmother). This could result in your being alienated from your family. I think you need to first talk to people who have similar feelings with you about this guy, get a feeling for what sort of reaction the whole family will have. Perhaps have one of these sympathics go with you when you talk to others who will be less understanding. Try not to take your anger at him out on others. Perhaps you can work, as peacefully as possible, to getting everyone on the same page and then move on to getting people to stop enabling him or speaking to him.

This is going to be a slow, uphill battle. You have to keep in mind that no one can control anothers actions, everyone makes their own decisions. I would ALMOST recommend removing yourself from the situation as much as possible, simply because I don't want to see this do more harm to you than good.

[SmackytheFrog]

Thanks RomanSunburn, that was actually a very thoughtful response and it pointed out things I didn't really consider. The problem with my family is that no one will make the move to even tell him that his behaviour is wrong, they all just leave it to "oh that's the way he is, he's like his dad" which is frustrating. He thinks his treatment of women, his abuse of his family and his spiral of addiction are perfectly normal. But its not.

Should I just sit back and watch him cripple other's lives?