Untrue things told about me to my boss

I asked my boss for more hours at the afterschool porgram where I work, I got an answer back I didn't expect.

We are sent to different elementary schools, with people running each different afterschool program. Apparently, some of the people running each program said things about me that are the complete opposite of the truth.

They said I don't engage with the children. Believe me, I engage and have fun with them much, much more than any staff I have ever witnessed. While the staff are socializing amongst themselves, I am playing all sorts of games with them, they confide in me deep things such as not seeing their father for a long time, they are asking when I am working next at that site.

Next they said I do not 'contribute to the team.' I am ALWAYS asking what I can set up or take down, always asking if they need me to go to the gym or outside, where they need me. Always communicating my intent to help.

Next they said I had a 'poor attitude.' I LOVE every second with those amazing, beautiful, precious children!! I have written and expressed this all over PC, always telling everyone how much I love my job with the kids.

I have experienced discrimination my entire life, being fired from 58 jobs, always told it was because something seemed strange about me. This HURTS!!! I thought I had toned down my strangeness and all this was OVER!! I have been at this job for 2 years now, for heaven's sake!

I am furious!

They even said I seem like I want my breakfast in the morning before the kids get to eat, not true, I ALWAYS ask if any kids need a bagel put in the toaster before I am able to eat!

Why don't I stamp the word, bipolar on my head loud and clear. It seems like it's already stamped there.

Going to be working at a different, I mean appyling, at a different YMCA, this one I am at is in the snobby, rich town, and it's run by snobby, rich little 19 year olds.

I am getting my references (which are all good!! except this one)) together and am going to be applying today, I hope.

Eeeeek!

Do you have any way of finding out what are the possible motivations of the people who are spreading the false information?

They are just snobs, being snobby. I guess I don't quite fit in or something.

Junerain,
It is true, you are always mentioning how much you enjoy your job with the children. I am sorry this is happening to you. I hope you find a satisfactory solution to the problem. How did you find out these things were said about you? Was it a performance evaluation, or just talking between staff members?

I asked my boss for more hours and she came back with all this, from the bosses under her.

You probably make them feel guilty because you do a better job than them.

:/

I've had that happen to me (jealousy because I work hard vs try to form friendships).

Iam sorry that this happened to you. From what you typed you seem very involved and considerated of the children and there feelings i think these co-workers are just jelous of you in some way. I would just chalk it up to you did the best you could and move on no sense in staying where you obviously not wanted.

I informed my boss that my other employers, the families I babysit for, are extremely happy with how I engage with kids, I guess I told her with a negative tone, she asked if it was an attack on her, and why I havent met with her at all to discuss the fabrications people have been reporting to her about me..

I filled out a self evaluation, gave myself all A's ( I AM awesome with kids at my job, everyone knows that that knows me...)

I will meet with her and the boss above her, the director of youth, to go over my self evaluation and the new findings...the boss agreed to go back and ask the site supervisors the GOOD plus the bad ways about me.

The meeting will take place next week. I am going to tell them I quit, that I am going to pick more hours babysitting, that I will go where my wonderful ways and talents with children are APPRECIATED!!! grrr cannot wait to quit to their faces!!! I am hoping they wonder just a little if what they put me through was wrong, hoping to see this in their faces, if I could.....

Behold, this afternoon I got a call from another local YMCA where I submitted an application...to run children's birthday parties there!!! I have an interview on the 28th, will have to report back how it goes!!! Would love to share the beauty of a birthday party with a child- what an absolutely beautiful moment to share

I know that what the other employees did was wrong to you, but I'm not sure quitting is the best idea. Remember, you ARE being appreciated!! What you have written about these kids show that they truly appreciate you and are glad that you come to them! Maybe you could make the suggestion that your boss come see you in action? Or even have your boss talk to the kids! I feel like if you like your job so much, without all the snobby drama, and you like the kids and they like you, maybe this is one job worth fighting for?

If that's the road you chose, then try to go to the meeting calm. Let them know you were angry about the untrue things said about you and that you didn't know what or could even understand why they were saying these things about you (which I'm assuming from your post, you didn't). Try not to get too defensive, even though you're (very rightfully!) going to want to.

I'm not trying to push you to stay at the job especially since if you do stay, things could be awkward with your coworkers, but I just want you to remember how much the kids like having you work with them and how much you like the kids back. But you're not there for your coworkers; you're there to help kids.

Take care! I hope I didn't offend you; I'm sorry if I did.

(((((Junerain))))),

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. As my daughter found out even with having her AA degree in Childhood development, that it's not the kids that cause the problems.....but either the parents, or the people you work with.

I understand how badly it hurts when people say things that are absolutely NOT true. With my daughter, she was working at a nationwied preschool/daycare center & was handling a little girl who had thrown a tantrum. The mother came to pick her up & my daughter took the girls hand to keep her from hitting another little boy that was between the girl & her mother. The little girl was still throwing a tantrum. Later, they claimed that my daughter had abused her & hurt her arm or shoulder when they took the little girl to the ER because she claimed she was hurt. It took a year of legal garbage & postponements before the judge finally ruled that the case never should have gone to court & there was nothing that my daughter was guilty of.....but the mother had blackballed my daughter from going back to the school telling all the other mothers to take their kids out of the school if it allowed my daughter to return. My daughter loved kids just like you do. She lives to relate with kids....always has........so I can completely relate with how you are feeling.

I however don't think that quiting your position at least now with the way you are feeling.....wouldn't accomplish making the statement that you want it to make. They would only look at the fact that you are angry about what happened & that because of that you decided to quit. I can almost guarantee that there would be no remorse on their part. Businesses just don't deal on the emotional level that we are feeling & really don't think you would receive the satisfaction that you are hoping for with quitting & then it will end up making you even more angry because you didn't get the reaction you were expecting.

Just a suggestion.......just hang in there with where you are while looking at the other position.....but don't do or say anything until you have something else lined up.....time enough will have passed that the anger will have passed that they know you are feeling.....& the leaving for another position will be much more favorable for you & for them.

Speaking from experience....leaving a position in the middle of being angry for being treated wrongly....just doesn't accomplish anything except for hard feelings all around.

Hope that everything works out for you to get into that other position....but sometimes God puts us in a position for a reason.....sometimes it's for the example we can be to others in spite of how we have been treated....not that we just have to take it without standing up for ourselves...but the way we handle ourselves in situations like that can serve as a wonderful example to others & can actually cause a bit of respect that otherwise might not have come.

Keeping you in my prayers.... Debbie

This thread is kind of old, but the title caught my eye. I, also, had the experience of someone lying about me on a job. It even led to me being fired, for the very first time in my nursing career. It was truly traumatic. The way I lost the job was far more traumatic than the fact of being fired. I was so innocent, I would not have believed that such a thing would ever be done to me. Suddenly, life didn't make sense to me.

I have had to try and train my mind to accept that people who are angry, for whatever reason, will sometimes tell lies to . . . well . . . I guess . . . ease their anger.

I am sorry for what you have gone through. I have always been introverted, and so I have not made many friends wherever I have gone. I think that has left me with less protection from malicious people. Maybe that has been part of your story - I don't know.

It is awful to go through. I have many, many faults and unattractive qualities. Being truthful, though, was deeply instilled in me by my honest parents, and so lying just doesn't even occur to me. Perhaps, that is why I was so shocked when it happened to me. In a way, though, I told myself that it was good for me to learn that this can happen.

I hope you found a good place to go to with better co-workers.