[cutbuddie]

I honestly don’t understand why you punish me more than you punish her. I do nothing wrong. I am completely innocent. She’s the one who continues to make the wrong decisions on purpose and I think that until you really punish her she will never learn. When you say you’re going to punish her you never do cause she doesn’t even do anything. Sure you tell her she has to take the bus and that she’s grounded from her car, but really you give her the car and I’m the one who has to ride the bus. I really don’t think that’s fair. Because you never successfully punish her and that’s why I think she keeps making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. Sure you make her do dishes and all but when she washes you make me dry. Not that I don’t mind helping out but isn’t it her punishment and not mine too?
It just makes me feel like I’m always dragged into the punishment with her. I mean, like I do nothing wrong, ever. So why punish me too? It honestly makes me feel like you don’t care about me at all and depressed. Making me confused and want to do bad just to get your attention. Which I am so close to doing, but I wont. It just makes me feel like I’m invisible and you don’t see me, you just treat me like you treat her. I really don’t think that’s fair.
I’d really like the type of parents I can talk to about anything, and believe me I want to talk to you guys. But you kinda shrug me off and treat me like you treat her.
You just let her get away with anything. And then she continues to make foolish choices.
But I don’t know, that’s just my opinion.

Hello, cutbuddie. You might consider printing your post for your parents?

You are in my thoughts.

[Leed]

Hi Cutbuddie ~ The Byzantine has a good suggestion. Why NOT print this out and show it to your folks? Maybe then they'd understand.

I too had an older sister that got away with murder. Plus everything that went wrong, I got blamed for. Of course SHE was the one that did it ~ every single time. You see, she KNEW she could get away with things because my parents always treated her that way -- so she had it made. My parents never believed me when I told them that she did it. They thought she was perfect!! HA! They found out years later that they'd made a HUGE mistake.

Print this post out, or else write something else out, and give it to them. If they won't listen to you, then make them READ it. That's a good way to get thru to them. God bless sweetie & take care. Hugs, Lee

[salukigirl]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. In some families it seems like there is always that one person who can do no wrong. Personally, I don't really view "punishment" as the way to right a person's direction. If she continues to make stupid decisions, she will get bitten eventually. And if your parents don't ever let her fall on her *** and make her own mistakes....that's going to affect her negatively whether you realize it or not. It might seem unfair to have someone basically get away with murder, but people who do not understand consequences and have an attitude of entitlement will not go far. Just like the hot girl who only gets hired for her looks. She might be relying on her looks forever and that may GET her the job - but it won't KEEP it.

I'm wondering who is the older of the two? As the baby I can attest that I got away with a lot of things my siblings didn't. However, when I was a teenager, my parents had gotten divorced, my dad was going through his second divorce, my sister had a baby at 18 and was living on welfare and going to school, my brother was involved with drugs and some other stuff - so the attention was pretty much taken off of me. I don't know if you have any kinds of distractions like that in your family that might allow her to slip by without any punishment?

Also, have you tried talking to your parents about this specifically and getting an answer from them? Each person is an individual and no two children should be punished or rewarded the same - sibling or not - but that doesn't mean one should be grounded while the other walks away scott free.

And I agree that putting things on paper makes it more concrete. People are generally not very good listeners. Instead of truly listening, we're always waiting for our chance to speak. Usually we already have our next comment ready before the other person finishes a sentence. Whereas, reading it, it's right in front of you. You can't ignore those words. You can't selectively hear a piece of paper. So I do agree that maybe writing them a letter (a gentle letter) explaining your feelings and the logic behind what you just told us. If that doesn't sink in then maybe you should try talking to a counselor at school or someone else who may be better adept at dealing with these things?