[Jenn1fer82]

My bf of almost 2 years has been going through a lot of problems in dealing with our own personal problems and the internal problems with our relationship. We've both agreed to try couples therapy. Can anyone else share their experiences to ensure that our experience in couples therapy will be a successful one.

[Leed]

Assuming he WANTS to go, just be sure you're both open and honest with the therapist, and don't throw blame at each other but take responsibility for your own actions, you should be ok. My ex also agreed to go, but the minute the therapist said something he didn't like, he walked out and never went back! So you both need to be committed to this. Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

hi jennifer, ex-hubby and i did it. he also kept breaking appts. i stuck to it. the ideal situation is once the T gains insight individually then you both will do sessions together with T.

[Elana05]

Hi Jenn1fer82,

Good for you both. It's sometimes easier to just say "forget it" than to seek help in dealing with the deep seated issues we all have. I have been in couples therapy with my partner for over a year. I have to admit I myself have found it... not easy... especially due to old stuff from my childhood. But even though it hasn't been easy, it has been helpful. One thing that helped me was the therapist's approach where she asked us each to go over our personal histories for a few sessions - though I realize that all therapists are different. But this gave us each more of a foundation to see where the other person was "coming from." I would say, as other have said, try to be as honest as possible even if tempted to fume or shut down (I know those well). You have the opportunity to respond to your partner and therapist but you have the the right to ask questions yourself (this has been big for me because I did not really have this right in my own family-of-origin). On rough days, try to see where the relationship is working. Sometimes both people are "right." This leads to the dance of compromise.
Elana

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Jenn1fer82

My bf has been going through a lot of problems in dealing with our

Not a good start. Takes two to tangle. You are obviously having troubles too or you wouldn't have posted or agreed to therapy. Keep thinking "we" and don't speak for your boyfriend and his experience; that's his job.