[SavvySpirit]

This is stupid and small, but if I don't get it out here I'll just end up brooding and make things much worse. My husband and I work together, he's my boss. Which works perfect actually, I love it! But anyway, we worked a ten hour day today from 4 this morning. So when we got home this afternoon I went to bed for awhile to get some rest before we have company tonight. Well he comes in and tells me that he's going over to a friends house to fix her car. Sounds very chivalrous and everything but I'm actually really upset. He cheated on me for almost four months a few years ago. We got over it, we're still together and it's not an issue that comes up very often. But I can't help but be jealous sometimes. Especially of this girl. She's cute, fun and the flirt constantly, even though its just because they're both overly friendly people and that's how they are together. If discusses in detail with him before that it irritates me when we constantly texts her, especially because that means he doesn't listen to me. He doesn't text her as much anymore, and they don't work together like they used to, so that's helped. So today, he reassured me that as soon as I woke up from my nap, I could call him and he'd come home if he wasn't already on the way. So that made me feel better. But when I woke up, I called him three times in half an hour and he didnt pick up so I called the girl and she didn't answer either. So now I think you'll understand that I was a little anxious. He finally called me back about five minutes later and said he was sorry, his phone was in vibrate blah blah blah and that he would be home really soon. That was a hour ago... Her house is five blocks away. I just feel so suspicious and I thought I should rant it out here instead of holding it in and ambushing him when he walks in the door.

[CupcakeQueen]

To be completely honest, I would be assuming the guy was cheating. I wouldn't put up with that. If he says you can call him, doesn't answer, then calls you back saying he'll be home soon & then takes over an hour to make the 5-block trip, especially if he has a car, I'd be pissed. I'd tell him flat out that I don't want them EVER talking again or I'd be gone 'cause that is EXTREMELY inconsiderate & inappropriate especially considering the issue having been valid in the past. I'd say, tell him that he is in deep **** with that. Have a long talk with him, & I strongly suggest putting your foot down on getting her out of the picture. If you don't trust her & you have suspicions of him in regards to her, she is going to continue to be an issue in your relationship until you DO trust her & your suspicions in regards to her are ressolved.

[Direction]

SavvySpirit...you definately have some concerns here that need to be talked about with your husband. I'm glad you could vent here instead of ambushing him. So take those deep breathes...collect yourself and set up a time for the two of you to have some alone time to talk...make sure the boundaries are clear...crystal clear...talk about how this situation raises concerns...good luck

[Leed]

I'd be upset too. If he said you could call, why would he put he phone on vibrate? And why does it take so long to come home?

I'd definitely be having a conversation with him and express my fears because of what happened before. His actions make it hard to trust him. He's going to have to EARN your trust back -- and he's not doing a very good job of it. Make sure he knows that. Hugs, Lee

[PaintTheRoses88]

I don't think this is small or stupid at all. If he's cheated on you once before then he's broken your trust. Constantly texting this other girl and spending time at her house by himself without even calling you like he said he would does not seem to me like he's interested in earning your trust back. It's great that you came on here to rant rather than ambush him because that probably wouldn't have helped matters. But I do think a calm, collected conversation in which you lay out your completely VALID concerns is warranted. You may have to set up some strict boundaries such as him not seeing this girl anymore period unless you're with him, and then maybe he can see her by himself once you feel comfortable enough. Sounds harsh, but he cheated on you and he needs to suffer the consequences if he still wants to be with you.

[SavvySpirit]

Thank you so much for all the advice everyone! He came home about 20 minutes after I posted this and I did manage not to ambush him. We talked for awhile about my problems with him and hanging out with this other girl. And, to his credit, he agreed with me. He hadn't thought how it would affect me bit as soon as I brought it up this time he listened to me completely and we worked it out. Even if we hadn't I would still be here. It wouldn't be very committed of me to just leave him because of that. If this keeps going, or if he does something again and I find out, then that's a different story. But for now, I think I'm going to concentrate on making us work. If we fall apart, if we start having really bad issues, it'll just add on to everything I already have going on in my life, mentally as well as other issues. Thank you all for the advice, and if this happens again, now I have all your words to fall back on and think about. Wish me luck!

[Direction]

Good Luck! Sounds like you two are on the right track!