[krisakira]

sorry in advanced for the venting/ranting but i just wanted to put to words 2 things today that have ticked me off and made me feel very frustrated. First of all today was boyfriends last day of work because he has been laid off. So that has put a strain on all of us.

So the first thing that made me upset was at the gym. I haven't been to the gym in a week or so, and was feeling very discouraged and mad at myself for not going (i joined about 3 weeks ago and it is easy for me to lose motivation and give up on something). So, I made myself go today after boyfriend got home from work. What helped was that boyfriend agreed to go with me just to encourage me (they let him in for free if he doesn't go on the machines). So, I did my usual, which i am barely able to do at this point, about 80 strides/min on the arc trainer (similar to elliptical), with a 15lb resistance and incline of 3. I try to keep my heartrate up but not too high, I have been told going high like 170 and above is bad, by my personal trainer. He told me at these beginning stages that I need to at least keep my heart rate at above 120, and well 170 is just too high, so he told me to just go slower and so at the pace that I've been going, my heart rate will be around 150-160 bpm. ANYWAY... so I am about 7 minutes into my workout (that is 30 minutes), and the lady who works there who signed me up and encourages me to come every day and stuff, her name is Angie. Well, Angie comes over and I waved at her and she smiled at me cause she was happy i finally came to the gym. Well, once she got over to my machine, I was messing with my iphone to put some music on, and she said, "If you can text you are not working out hard enough!" and i would have told her I was just putting some music on, but I was so winded it is hard for me to talk. Then she reached over and put double the resistance weight on and increased the incline and said i needed to go to over 100 strides (instead of 80) at least, for a full half hour. Mind you, before she came over, I was doing exactly what my trainer had told me to do, and she is NOT a trainer, just someone who works there, she even has her own trainer. I told her that if I do any more than I had been doing my heart rate would go up too high, and she said "No it won't! if it does just put it back down!" and i told her "i know it will it goes above 170!" and she walked away saying "geez just trying to help." It made me upset cause 1. its like she wasn't listening, and 2. she is not my trainer, everyone is different and I was just trying to do what my trainer told me to do! I can barely do the workout that I was doing. I had to work up to being able to do 30 minutes. And I barely finished it today. It's like she thinks she knows everything, but she was overweight and started out somewhere too, and it is like she has forgotten where she used to be, and just expects everyone to be where she is now. It discouraged me even more because I already had to push myself really hard to go there today, and then Angie comes over and says I am not working hard enough!!!

The 2nd thing that ticked me off today, was that after boyfriend and I got home, (he had been working all day at his job, cuz it was his last day, and I just came home from working out at the gym), boyfriend's mom who we live with, was doing her laundry. And so I was gonna start some laundry too cause her clothes were in the dryer already. Before I did that, boyfriend and I went through and sorted some stuff out in our closet, so we were really busy and tired. And his mom was sitting in her chair in the living room watching tv, like she had been doing all day, she does this every day. Sure she is almost 70 yrs old, but it is literally ALL she does all day every day. So while boyfriend and I were busy with the closet thing, she yells out "can someone see if the dryer stopped?" and I said back "why don't you get off your *** and do it yourself???" but she didn't hear me... Boyfriend told her to check for herself. About 10 minutes go by and I check and see that her laundry is done and mine is ready to be put in the dryer. So i went to boyfriend's mom and ask her if she would check on her laundry, and she asked if it was done, and I said I don't know why don't you check. and she said she would. But a long time went by and she still didn't (all she was doing was watching tv). So instead of bugging her again, I went to laundry room and took her clothes out of dryer (it was just 1 shirt and 1 pair of pants, i dunno why she didn't do the full load), and put the 2 items on the floor right outside the laundry room, and put my clothes into the dryer. Cause I was so pissed off that while boyfriend and I worked and worked out and were busy getting things done, all she did was sit there, and wouldn't even get up to take care of her laundry!

ok i am done venting...

Krisakira,

i just wanted to let you know that if some chick at the gym did that to me I'd be furious. I would certainly talk to my personal trainer about it and maybe s/he can put her in line because that's ridiculous. Who the heck is she to tell you how hard you're working out. You're doing what's right for you and it's none of her dang business. Especially to mess with your machine! I'm pissed just reading that somebody would do that to you. I'm so sorry that happened. Try not to let it discourage you. Just remind yourself that she knows nothing of personal training and is way beyond her expertise. you are seeking the help of a professional (way to go) and that is enough. Do what s/he says and no more. Overdoing it will surley make you lose interest.

And with your bf's mom how frustrating. I would have taken the clothes out too!

All in all, I'm sorry you had such a frustrating day. Say some positive affirmations to help you get into a better mind frame and forget all the b.s. that is going on around you.

Love and hugs,
Tara

[krisakira]

Thanks. About the gym thing, I only got 2 free sessions with a personal trainer so i kinda no longer have one. But i have decided that if Angie does anything like that again I am gonna talk to her about it, and tell her not to do it anymore or I will go to another location.

At least you got a personal trainer for two sessions. I broke down and paid for one for a whole year. They are mighty helpful at making you sore...

If angie does that again I'd flat out tell her to back off! But in a nice way, or atleast I'd try to make it nice.

Love and hugs,
Tara

P.S. Good job on the Non SI! Way to go!

[MomoBear]

it does sound like a frustrating day~
but sometimes understanding others goes a long way (hey that rhymed!) i can't say much since i wasn't present obviously, but who knows angie must've had a rough day, and your boyfriend's mother is well..70...(heh senior citizen status~!) give her a break, she's old and tired. ^__^ plus she's the mama who gave birth to your wonderful man~!

i hope you feel better~!

[Perna]

If there's a next time that Angie reaches out to touch the machine you're on, "playfully" smack her fingers and say something like, "My machine! Don't touch!" Don't let her make you feel bad; you're doing your own thing and though you were disappointed in yourself for not going to the gym as much as you wish you wanted to, you are "there" and that's better than it was! A good, free, online site I belong to that might help keep you company with the gym thing is http://www.sparkpeople.com. People there will thoroughly understand how peeved Angie made you and be able to give you support and ways to help yourself get to the gym more often and blow right by Angie!

I'd try to feel bad for your boyfriend's mother. If she's just sitting all day, watching TV at 70, she may well be depressed; doesn't sound like much of a "life" and I'd see if I couldn't engage her a little, give her reasons to get out of that chair? Is there a local senior center? There's lots of classes and other people she could meet and maybe do stuff with and then she won't be so bored/"dead" that she doesn't even care enough about getting/wearing her clothes from the dryer. I don't know the layout of the home, but she may not have done a full load because carrying all that up/down any stairs and messing with it might just be too "hard" for her. After one's mid-50's life does become a lot more difficult in terms of energy and having the "strength" to do stuff and all that sitting is eroding what few muscles she has left! Just as you have trouble getting to the gym and then on the machines after you have been away, she's having similar trouble with her everyday life; what does she have to "do"? There's no work or boyfriend/companionship and it certainly doesn't sound like she has a hobby. It's much harder to come up with motivation when there's no where to "start" (I'm 60 and retired and struggling with those problems now myself).

But besides that, it is her dryer! If you aren't paying her for the use of it, I'd at least be cheerful about occasionally clearing her stuff out and putting it on her bed/in her room for her. It's not like it happens that way all the time?

[krisakira]

i posted another thread all about boyfriend's mom. that should give you a better idea of how bad the situation is with her. trust me its a lot worse than just the 1 example i gave, boyfriend has told me she has been this way her whole life, when she was in her 50s she would make boyfriend (who lived 10 mins away at the time) go get her fast food from wendys or mcdonalds, instead of getting it herself. and then he would get it, because he didnt want to hear all the crap she gave him like making him feel guilty for not doing it. I'm just saying its not a matter of how old she is, its a matter of her not wanting to do anything for herself. I just hate how she treats her son... expects him to do this and that for her, without asking politely... itll be "i need you to pick up this or that from walmart", instead of "hey will you please pick this up from walmart next time you go? thanks" no respect for him whatsoever and it ticks me off.

[2MuchCoffee]

Whoa, Angie would not have a job when I got done with her!

YOU don't go to another location. SHE needs to stop being a moroff. I doubt her management would be happy to hear she's doing that kind of stuff to people at their gym. Don't waste your time talking to her, go above her head and be done with her.

Don't let people like her mess with your mojo! Especially when you're trying so hard just to get to the gym and be healthy.

Kick some butt, girlfriend!

[krisakira]

Thanks. I'll try. I really haven't made up my mind what to do, if I should talk to her or someone above her before it happens again, or wait till after it happens again (if it does) to find the opportunity to tell her, or someone above her, what's going on. My knee is sore today and I think it is because she increased the resistance on my machine and I stayed at it for like 1 minute and took my heart rate and it was well over 170... But my knee has never hurt the day after a workout, except from yesterdays. Grr Angie hurt my knee! I really wish I could talk to my personal trainer but I don't have the money to set up another appointment any time soon... but ty for all the support, everyone