[mistyeyesnva]

Hello,
I am trying so hard to trust my b/f but something keeps putting these negative thoughts in my head. We have had long talks about my not trusting him and we have gone over and over our problems and things are fine for a little while then I start not trusting again, I know I need serious help but I can't shake these feelings I get....something as little as ...I seen he was online today, I was listening to my music on the computer and cleaning house so I didn't think anything of it. usually if he is online and not on computer it will show he is idle.However today I seen he was online for almost 2 hrs. I kept checking to see if he left me a message but he didn't , so tonight--when I talked to him on the phone I asked him how his day was & what he did after he got home from work...he said" dishes, watched some tv, took a nap but never mentioned anything about being online" I then say, yeah I saw you was online but he said he wasn't ....he got real upset and said " if he is being accused he might as well do it" we had very little conversation and then hung up...If he had mentioned he was online and looking up something it wouldn't have been so bad lol....but he didn't say anything at all about being online....I feel like such a fool for not trusting him but I don't know how to stop the cycle. he met me online so maybe that is why I'm like that I don't know...does anyone have any suggestions on how I can trust again? ..please help ..thanks

[lxegirl]

i think maybe you're expecting alot, and he may not know exactly what you were expecting so he doesn't know how not to upset you like this. maybe calmly explain to him that you saw him online and was hoping for a message from him instead of accusing him, because that may upset even him and just make the situation more frustrating. i'm sorry that you are having trouble trusting him, maybe he is really busy with his work and everything and he's just a bit astray. best of luck..hugs.

[mistyeyesnva]

Well, I ended our relationship tonight and I hurt like crazy. I went to bed last night thinking whatever happened( about the whole computer thing) just needed to be left alone and maybe it will work itself out. so tonight he picked me up and we went to my grandsons 2nd birthday party . things were fine , he had seen a girl who attended the party and asked me if it was the same girl that came to my grandsons 1st birthday party? I said yes & then about 20 minutes later I sat next to my 17yr old son and he was having a conversation with my b/f....finding out that he was asking my son about that same girl ....I flipped out! I understand that men & woman look and all that stuff but he was asking my son about her after already asking me....knowing how I am, why would he do something like that? I was so hurt and still am ..I told him it was best that we don't talk to each other ever again. I don't want to be in a relationship that I always feel like I can't trust him or be with someone who makes me feel so unimportant when we are together. I will miss him dearly and this is going to be so hard for me but I'm letting him go and maybe he will find that ms right . I know I'm probably wrong for feeling the way I do and not trusting but I also feel ...He made me that way by his actions. now I have to learn to be alone again and hope that someday I will find someone who will respect me enough and make me feel like I matter...I don't know how to even start to get over him ....just feeling sad right now

[lxegirl]

dont blame yourself! he should've known what he was doing, he should've dropped the subject. and besides, you dont want to be with someone who does not respect or support you. its good. i know it'll be hard to move on but you can do it.

[SoupDragon]

I have major trust issues too - it can make life quite lonely - I can take a relationship so far, but then find a reason to back out. For me I realise that it is a mixture of me having to sort my stuff out, but also finding someone who is understanding and patient - When I am struggling, I just have faith that oneday it will get better that I will gain a deep understanding of myself and be able to maintain a relationship along with the inevitable ups and downs.

[JeanneDoe]

I'm so sorry you are having trust issues. It is very hard I am going through it too. I never know if it's me being nuts or them being an ***. I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you can feel better about this soon.