[greensky602]

Ahhhh! I can't stop envying certain people. I don't want to envy them or ruminate about why I can't control my feelings, but I think envy is a very real sense of my character right now. I want to change to participate rather than compete and envy. Inside myself is a sense of low self-esteem that results from my refusal to do what is right. I don't know if it's actually called refusal to do what's right or I can justify my actions with the truth of not being able to control my energy to do what's right. I'm very lazy because I'm low energy, and I can't help it. I keep trying to change, but I retreat back to laziness, where it's comfortable and familiar. It seems like I have to try 10x as hard as others just to achieve a little, and I get frustrated by the slow results. I don't want to envy anyone just because I can't do it as good as they can. I want to participate in the world, but I just say so, and inside is this annoying sense of envy that I can't help but feel when triggered in the right circumstances. What can I learn to stop my envying? I feel it is malicious and it's not a constructive feeling to have. It doesn't help anyone or anything, and it's a waste of time. I would like all the explanations I can get. Thanks!

[Leed]

Well, first you say you're "lazy." Are you sure that's what it is? Perhaps there's a medical reason for that. Why not get some blood work done to make sure you don't have a thyroid condition or something else that's sapping your energy? Call your doc & talk about it.

Secondly, I'd make a list of things I'm grateful for in my life. Once you see all the GOOD things you have, you might feel less envious. I seem to sometimes take for granted all my blessings ~ but if I see them on paper, I can't do that. Then after you've made the list of ALL of them, post them on your refrigerator so you can see them everyday.

I have a sticker on my bathroom mirror that says it all for me. It says: "You are looking at the problem." And it's true. The basis for ALL my problems is ME. If I have a problem today, I've got to look at myself and see what it is that's bothering me -- and what I can do about it. It's usually some character defect that I can take care of. Today I'm grateful. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by greensky602

Ahhhh! I can't stop envying certain people. I don't want to envy them or ruminate about why I can't control my feelings, but I think envy is a very real sense of my character right now. I want to change to participate rather than compete and envy. Inside myself is a sense of low self-esteem that results from my refusal to do what is right. I don't know if it's actually called refusal to do what's right or I can justify my actions with the truth of not being able to control my energy to do what's right. I'm very lazy because I'm low energy, and I can't help it. I keep trying to change, but I retreat back to laziness, where it's comfortable and familiar. It seems like I have to try 10x as hard as others just to achieve a little, and I get frustrated by the slow results. I don't want to envy anyone just because I can't do it as good as they can. I want to participate in the world, but I just say so, and inside is this annoying sense of envy that I can't help but feel when triggered in the right circumstances. What can I learn to stop my envying? I feel it is malicious and it's not a constructive feeling to have. It doesn't help anyone or anything, and it's a waste of time. I would like all the explanations I can get. Thanks!

I want to thank you for offering an excellent explanation of how envy works in your life. As far as it goes, however, you might first make a division in your mind between things worth 'envying' as it motivates you to attempt the same for your own life, and envying that is counter-productive because it's a waste of time to yearn for gifts someone else was given. For example, it's a waste of my time to envy the tall supermodel, because I'm never going to be tall (or a supermodel!) -- but I noticed other people knew more about procedures where I work, and I decided I wanted to know, too, so I am now focusing my energies there. You might have low energy; but it could also be that you are scattering your energy over too broad an area. Some of the most successful people have said how difficult learning what they are now considered experts in, was to learn in the first place. Courage!