[rjdaws]

I just got off the phone with my aunt (she and I have always been close, growing up I trusted her as much as my own mother). Since my mom passed away A year and a bit ago, my aunt always asks how I'm doing in a way that sounds like she suspects me to be suffering. She and my dad seem to discuss me a lot (I'm sure they discuss my brother as well).

Today I told her about my concerns about my mental health. I told her about the accident that happened when I was an infant (being dropped down a 6-step flight of stairs) and that I feel it's affected my life. I told her I have concerns about possibly having a mild form of autism.

She knows about my history of depression and SI but that's the most she knows and there are a lot of other issues I can't seem to explain to her. She told me not to even think about it ("it" being my mental health concerns), and that nothing is wrong with me.

I know she looks out for the best for me, I know she cares and she doesn't want me to think anything is wrong with me. But my concerns are for my health, not me thinking something is wrong with me. I'm horrible at explaining myself orally. There seems to be a lack of connection between thought formation and the words that come out of my mouth. So getting it across to her that I may have some kind of mental health issue or brain injury isn't easy (while at the same time obvious if she wasn't in denial.)

It just worries me. I do have a good support system in my family, they do care about my general health, in that they're convinced nothing is wrong with me and that I'm just weird and eccentric. But when I try to actually discuss my concerns and tell them I want to seek professional help, they completely deny the need for it. My family keeps moving farther away from me, while insisting they care. It's like they keep shoving me in little clear box, so they can observe me but not get too close, not have to touch me, not have to worry about me coming near them.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by rjdaws

She knows about my history of depression and SI but that's the most she knows and there are a lot of other issues I can't seem to explain to her. She told me not to even think about it ("it" being my mental health concerns), and that nothing is wrong with me.

hmmm...sounds confusing...she knows about your history but there's nothing wrong with you...it would leave me unsettled also...

Is this a self-diagnosis...the depression...or did you see a professional? Either way I guess your Aunt may not understand what it is...maybe some articles from here would be helpful to share with her. There are a lot of people out there who really have no idea what mental illness is all about. I would not spin your wheels trying to convince her though if she is resisting learning about it.

[rjdaws]

My aunt's a Registered Nurse so I would assume she knows something about mental illness, even though she doesn't work directly with the mentally ill. But maybe not.

I've never been told by any professional, "You suffer from depression" but I don't need a doctor to tell me I've dealt with SI, suicidal thoughts and an attempt, and constant anguish since I was 12. I may not be "clinically depressed" because I don't have a piece of paper that says so but my aunt knows I've struggled. She just doesn't know the whole story and talks about it like she does. I try explaining to her the multitude of other problems I'm concerned about but one of those concerns is that it's difficult for me to understand what's wrong myself, and translate those concerns into words. And it's starting to piss me off because no one believes me, everyone I've tried talking about it with thinks I'm overreacting and it's making me think there's nothing to be concerned about too. :/ so I dunno what to do. I'd go to my doctor but she's on mat and so are the other like, three doctors there. There is one doctor covering for 4 so appointments have like, three month waiting lists or more.

Uugghh.

[arcangel]

It is kind of odd that she asks you how you are in a way that sounds like she thinks you might have a problem but then goes into denial when you tell her about depression. Maybe she expected a different type of problem? I can't offer you any help or words of wisdom but I can relate maybe. I can't talk to any of my family about anything involving depression. They say they care but they just can't talk about mental/emotional problems. A lot of people can't.
I think that if you want to talk to a psychiatric professional then you should do so.
Unless there is something I'm unaware of... it's your decision to make

[Direction]

Originally Posted by rjdaws

My aunt's a Registered Nurse so I would assume she knows something about mental illness, even though she doesn't work directly with the mentally ill. But maybe not.

I've never been told by any professional, "You suffer from depression" but I don't need a doctor to tell me I've dealt with SI, suicidal thoughts and an attempt, and constant anguish since I was 12. I may not be "clinically depressed" because I don't have a piece of paper that says so but my aunt knows I've struggled. She just doesn't know the whole story and talks about it like she does...

I'm not sure we can assume she knows or understands anything because her behavior is opposite of someone who does. I brought up the question about a professional saying it, because since you haven't...your aunt (definately not me) might not be convinced that it is depression. This would be consistent with her behavior anyway. I also don't think your aunt knows how much you struggle with this especially since you know she doesn't know the whole story.

So if you are looking for support from her, I would encourage you to in small amounts help her understand the depths of what you feel. By the way, I think you are describing your frustration for this situation just fine and could be a good starting point with your aunt.

[Elana05]

Originally Posted by rjdaws

I just got off the phone with my aunt (she and I have always been close, growing up I trusted her as much as my own mother). Since my mom passed away A year and a bit ago, my aunt always asks how I'm doing in a way that sounds like she suspects me to be suffering. She and my dad seem to discuss me a lot (I'm sure they discuss my brother as well).

Today I told her about my concerns about my mental health. I told her about the accident that happened when I was an infant (being dropped down a 6-step flight of stairs) and that I feel it's affected my life. I told her I have concerns about possibly having a mild form of autism.

She knows about my history of depression and SI but that's the most she knows and there are a lot of other issues I can't seem to explain to her. She told me not to even think about it ("it" being my mental health concerns), and that nothing is wrong with me.

I know she looks out for the best for me, I know she cares and she doesn't want me to think anything is wrong with me. But my concerns are for my health, not me thinking something is wrong with me. I'm horrible at explaining myself orally. There seems to be a lack of connection between thought formation and the words that come out of my mouth. So getting it across to her that I may have some kind of mental health issue or brain injury isn't easy (while at the same time obvious if she wasn't in denial.)

It just worries me. I do have a good support system in my family, they do care about my general health, in that they're convinced nothing is wrong with me and that I'm just weird and eccentric. But when I try to actually discuss my concerns and tell them I want to seek professional help, they completely deny the need for it. My family keeps moving farther away from me, while insisting they care. It's like they keep shoving me in little clear box, so they can observe me but not get too close, not have to touch me, not have to worry about me coming near them.

Hi rjdaws,

Sometimes I am so surprised at those in the health profession who don't put the pieces of the puzzle together. It may be that they are so used to treating the "body" and not the "mind." But depression, or autism or any mental issue is just as much a medical issue to be looked at and taken seriously so that you can get the help you need to feel like yourself and that you are living life to the fullest.

It sounds like in addition to paying attention to how you are feeling you also have given this a lot of very careful thought. Trust yourself. You are your first advocate. Hopefully you can find a good doctor who understands mental disorders etc (shouldn't they all?). There are family members, friends, and even some doctors and nurses who are not going to have this illness on their radar. They are simply not well enough informed. (I once had an OB/GYN who, when I told her I was diagnosed with depression told me to meditate and go to the drugstore and buy some 5-HTP. And while I am open minded about some alternative remedies, I also know that this remedy has never had any evidential clinical testing - here was a doctor offering pat advice in a serious area that wasn't even in her field!). Trust yourself and seek out the help you need because there are also good doctors who understand the illness of depression who can help, there are examples right here in the founders and administrators of this website. Sending many supportive thoughts your way.