[xxxflossyxxx]

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and it really hasn't been easy but its getting worse and worse...........

my boyfriend is agoraphobic and has been throughout our entire relationship also still living at home with his parents and brother. i have moved in their family home several times but get kicked out when the anger takes no matter what time throughout the night. i have tried soo hard to stand by him with his mental health issues also i have my own mental health problems and problems in my family life, he started getting violent a few years sgo not much but over the last year it has been really bad, i don't have to say anything its just if he assumes something. i understand a mother protecting her son but whens he being violent she says is she throwing herself around again, i have tryed sitting him down to talk but anything i have to say hes not interested and cuts me of, tells me to shut up or my Favorite line 'its not ALL about me'........the thing is it never is when i was going through cervical cancer he really was not bothered 'its not all about me you know, i really have tried from every angle i possibly can........any advice i am thankful.

takecare xxxflossyxxx

Hiya Flossy,

It sounds like it's time to cut bait and take a loss here. That's what i would do if I were you. You can only help a person so much, they have to want to get better too and it doesn't sound like your bf wants to from what you posted or his family for that matter. Sometimes families don't want the sick person to get better because then they would have no scapegoat. Plus it would change the family dynamics and that means that everybody would have to change.

You have to take care of you first. There are certain things that only you can do for yourself and number one has to be your mental health and well being. Nobody deserves to be treated as you are being treated. Being told it's not all about you is repulsive to me because sometimes it is all about you. And what else, does he think it's all about him if it's not all about you?

I know sometimes I keep the relationship I have for fear of never finding another one. This just keeps me stuck though and not moving forward like I'm meant to. I hope my advice doesn't sound too pushy, i'm not trying to be, but sometimes my protective mother hen comes out .

Love and hugs,
Tara

[Direction]

It might be true that it is not all about you...but there doesn't seem to be anything in your post about it not all being about him...so it would seem that you are starting to see that it's good to have some balance. Hopefully you will be able to let go of this relationship and move on...