[rjdaws]

I searched the first three pages of the forum for a similar thread so if this is too similar to a past thread, I'm sorry.

I just thought it might be useful to have a sort of "long distance support" thread. I find I'm having trouble lately feeling emotions for my partner. We do get to see each other every other week or so, so it's not as bad as it could be. But even though I know I still love her, I often find I can't feel it when she's not around.

Not to mention, I'm getting tired of talking on the phone every night. Not because I don't want to talk to HER. I think I just don't like talking on the phone unless it's to plan something or get information. The phone for me is not a casual conversation tool, especially since she and I are more the type of people to sit around and enjoy each other's company than talk and talk for hours on end.

Anyway, I just thought it might be a nice idea to have a place to let out LD concerns and issues where others can kind of, pass on advice, pat shoulders, etc. I guess it's not as serious a relationship issue as abuse or separation, but it can be frustrating, especially is you have separation anxiety or other disorder that makes it hard to cope with the time apart.

[coastalgirl0279]

If you care or love this person, don't let them push you away. Be upfront with them. Don't let them back you into a corner. Trust me, you'll want to fight your way out, and later you'll regret it. Let them know that you need your space, tell them why, and take a mental break. If your partner cares or loves you, they'll understand; at least give them that choice.

[Direction]

rjdaws, you may want to reconsider the idea of the phone and how it can be a tool to help a your relationship as well as other means of communicating like skype

[distancedistressed]

Try video chat on skype, it helps my girlfriend and I, who live over 500 miles away from each other. Consider yourself lucky in your relationship. Good luck to you. (:

[Vampyre]

So happy I found this
I too am in a long distant relationship and although we talk everyday via texting, it gets so hard since I miss being with him.
We've been on an up and down due to stress and money issues but we love each other. Just that the stress...mostly mine, has put a dent in our relationship

[nomad73]

I live in the same town as my bf, but he travels so much from work, we might as well have a long distance relationship. Early, on, he said he didn't feel connected to me after a long trip to Europe. Then, he told me that he was lying to himself, that it wasn't me or our connection, he was scared to work so hard to make this work, and that he felt out of control of things. We work on it all the time. All I know is, we love each other, and we're clinging to that and trying to make the rest of it work out for us. I feel your pain.

[rjdaws]

Hmm... yeah. I guess the phone calls are very important and I don't intend to put an end to it... (I remember being in her shoes during a past relationship and how much the rejection hurt when the calls stopped happening). Tonight's call was good and I didn't want to hang up at all even though we ran out of things to talk about. I guess some nights I'm just a little grumpy and don't feel like talking :P

[the-alchemist]

I have some experience with LD relationships.

I agree with everyone:

• Skype
• Trying different methods of communication
• Anxiety makes the distance worse

Cheating is a common concern, and understandably. You're 500 miles away and you couldn't find out the truth even if you wanted to.

IMHO, I think the "trick" is to find out how to make one another trust each other. It's hard and based on each individual person. One person may need to talk to reconnect the relationship, but another person just might need to see them via Skype. e.g., If you don't "get" that your partner needs text messages while you need a conversation, that spells trouble.

[RomanSunburn]

I also have some experience with long distance relationships. My fiance and I dated long distance for four years. First it was around 600 miles apart, then 1000 miles apart, then around 3700 miles apart, and lastly 150 miles apart. Then we decided to move in together about 1100 miles from our families (so even though the distance between us ended, we still have many long distance relationships with friends and family going on). We've been living together for a year now and my mental health has never been better, quite honestly.

The last year of our LDR we started using skype. But we wouldn't really talk to each other, we still preferred to talk on the phone. But generally, we kept skype open while I worked on homework and he worked on computer programming or looked for a job. That way, it was like we were in the same room. We could just look up, make faces at each other, and then go back to what we were doing. That always helped me feel close, though we didn't have to actually talk.

We also watched a lot of TV or movies together while on the phone. Sometimes, if I just wanted to hear his voice and he didn't have anything to say, he would narrate commercials and whatnot to me. We also played online games together.

I really like the idea of this thread and I hope we can keep it going. I always try to reach out to those in LDRs cause I've been there, done that, and I want to offer support where I can.



Take care everyone!

PS, everyone's allowed to have grumpy days! I definitely have my fair share

[Vampyre]

I do believe that skype or whatever video chat helps. Seeing my bf makes me smile since I miss his face lol.
I wish we could chat more often but our work hrs change and I dont have a webcam I send him pics though

Looking forward for more tips