[Xeneon]

Okay so I like this guy and all. Normally when i like a guy, I hide in the corners and don't even talk to him. I don't even go around him so he can come up to me. Well I have put myself out there for the first time in my life. I have been trying to get to know him more and to know his family. Hes everything I want in a man:
-Christian
-funny and knows when to be for real
-hard worker
-family man
Well I thought he felt the same way about me because my family sees us together and they all think the same thing. I invited him to go to the races with me and he said he could until today. He said he doesn't think, he'll beable too. He said he would keep trying to find someone to switch his hours with but doesn't look promising. My mom told me he wanted to make a goodbye video for someone on that day. So he might be making excuses for why he can't come. I don't get it, I think its all bully crap. He told me he could and now at the last minute, he is backing down. I'm so disappointed and hurt. It sucks because I feel like he's saying No to me on everything in the nicest way as possible. I just want someone to love me for who i am and it just seems like me isn't good enough for anyone. I'm not asking much for a guy, I want someone to love me for me and to be a good man. I think i might just go back to hiding in my hole so i don't get hurt.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by Xeneon

He said he doesn't think, he'll beable too. He said he would keep trying to find someone to switch his hours with but doesn't look promising.

I really don't think we are that confusing...I would take what he said as what he means.

[Xeneon]

I think you guys are. So I should just ignore what he told my mom then??

[tattoogirl33]

I have to agree with Direction... Men are not like we women.. they pretty much just put it out there with no (or not much of a) hidden agenda.

[Xeneon]

Well I don't think they are easy but thats just my opinion.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by Xeneon

My mom told me he wanted to make a goodbye video for someone on that day.

I was wondering how you mom knew this...So your mom tells you that he said this...

It does sound odd...so since you have two pieces of information that for the moment don't make sense, go ahead and ask him about it. If he told your mom that he was going to do this, he probably wasn't trying to hide it from you.

People are really confusing unless we get the clarification...good luck!

Originally Posted by Xeneon

Hes everything I want in a man.

Therein lies the problem.

There is no ethereal "one". This a whimsical myth purported by various forms of media so they can better shove their inane puppy-love bull**** down our respective throats and acquire vast sums of money in the process. Romeo and Juliet? To hell with the both of them! Ehem... Pardon me ... Anyway, my point is, losing this one bloke, regardless of his credentials, shouldn't put you off from the whole dating thing entirely. There will be more blokes to come merrily along the path of life. You've just got to sniff them out.

Contrary to the aforementioned myths, it's quite common for the earlier romances of one's life to fail, often on epic proportions. (Mind you, I did not say all early relationships.) This is because first-timers oft know not in God's good name what they're doing (and, again, most first-timers are expecting the infatuation and adoration as seen on TV). Social skills, like any other skill, take a good deal of time to learn. And, like one unknown author once said, "Good decisions are based on experience. And experience is gained through bad decisions" (ten cool points to whomever can name the author). To paraphrase... you needn't be afraid of a failed relationship. Think of them, instead, as an opportunity to learn from mistakes.

Furthermore, with practice comes confidence in those skills I mentioned previously. And confidence is one of those noteworthy traits which wins the hearts of good men.

[Xeneon]

He talks to my mom and told my mom this. Good idea about asking him.

Originally Posted by Xeneon

Okay so I like this guy and all. Normally when i like a guy, I hide in the corners and don't even talk to him. I don't even go around him so he can come up to me. Well I have put myself out there for the first time in my life. I have been trying to get to know him more and to know his family. Hes everything I want in a man:
-Christian
-funny and knows when to be for real
-hard worker
-family man
Well I thought he felt the same way about me because my family sees us together and they all think the same thing. I invited him to go to the races with me and he said he could until today. He said he doesn't think, he'll beable too. He said he would keep trying to find someone to switch his hours with but doesn't look promising. My mom told me he wanted to make a goodbye video for someone on that day. So he might be making excuses for why he can't come. I don't get it, I think its all bully crap. He told me he could and now at the last minute, he is backing down. I'm so disappointed and hurt. It sucks because I feel like he's saying No to me on everything in the nicest way as possible. I just want someone to love me for who i am and it just seems like me isn't good enough for anyone. I'm not asking much for a guy, I want someone to love me for me and to be a good man. I think i might just go back to hiding in my hole so i don't get hurt.

You say he's everything you want in a man but do you actually like the guy? Have you spent a lot of time with him? You keep saying You want someone to love you, but don't you want to love someone too and have an equal relationship? You're still very young - wait for the guy who is dying to be with you.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

Therein lies the problem.

There is no ethereal "one". This a whimsical myth purported by various forms of media so they can better shove their inane puppy-love bull**** down our respective throats and acquire vast sums of money in the process. Romeo and Juliet? To hell with the both of them! Ehem... Pardon me ... Anyway, my point is, losing this one bloke, regardless of his credentials, shouldn't put you off from the whole dating thing entirely. There will be more blokes to come merrily along the path of life. You've just got to sniff them out.

Contrary to the aforementioned myths, it's quite common for the earlier romances of one's life to fail, often on epic proportions. (Mind you, I did not say all early relationships.) This is because first-timers oft know not in God's good name what they're doing (and, again, most first-timers are expecting the infatuation and adoration as seen on TV). Social skills, like any other skill, take a good deal of time to learn. And, like one unknown author once said, "Good decisions are based on experience. And experience is gained through bad decisions" (ten cool points to whomever can name the author). To paraphrase... you needn't be afraid of a failed relationship. Think of them, instead, as an opportunity to learn from mistakes.

Furthermore, with practice comes confidence in those skills I mentioned previously. And confidence is one of those noteworthy traits which wins the hearts of good men.

Totally agree with Michael The Great on this one. There is no preconcieved "the one"

there were many men that "on paper" could have been the one.
they had the right job or even A Job, credentials, were nice guys....even nice looking...
but in the end, not for me.

If look back at all the men I've met in my 20 years of dating...with a 5 year marriage and some long term relationships thrown in....

All of the people you meet are helping you really figure out you YOUR one is.

If you had told me when I was 21 that I'd be married to the guy i'm married to now, I never would have believed it.
I wanted a lot of different things back then.
the core beliefs are still there - but I didn't know myself the way I do now...didn;t even know what I liked that long ago. We develop as people and so do our tastes.

If you're lucky enough to meet That One when you're young, you develop these things together - but for the most part - we develop individually a bit and then find these people.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. ~Jumar

[Xeneon]

Yeah of course, I want to love someone too. Thats why I want to build awsome relationship with him but it seems like when i try hes pushing back sometimes and then the next minute hes coming up to give me hug and ask how im doing. People say that there is no perfect man. I'm not looking for much and on top of that, I'll wait if i have to for the ONE. I believe there is someone out there for everyone but we can either push away the right one or let them in. I just don't want to push them away. I have been scared to long to have a relationship and i choose not to stay that way.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. ~Jumar

This is soooooooooo true........

[Glimmerofhope]

Originally Posted by Xeneon

Well I don't think they are easy but thats just my opinion.

i think u have a bad opinion of men ( im female ) you need to get counselling and u clearly have rejection issues - i would not have taken that bad the man had something to do and it was a change of plan