[thinthing]

Our 26 year old daughter lives with us along with her 3 year old daughter. She has stolen from us in the past when she used drugs. She has not used drugs for the past one year. We had debit gift card in the amount of $500 taken from my husband. We called card company and they told us to whom and when charges were posted. Because the timing scenario fits, we believe our daughter took this card from my husband's wallet. We don't know what to do. She has a low paying minimum wage job (evidently needs a second job). She has stopped her drug use and is working full time this past year, which we are very pround of her for. I believe she just doesn't want to ask us for extra money, so she took it. We don't know how to help her or what to do.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by thinthing

Our 26 year old daughter lives with us along with her 3 year old daughter. She has stolen from us in the past when she used drugs. She has not used drugs for the past one year. We had debit gift card in the amount of $500 taken from my husband. We called card company and they told us to whom and when charges were posted. Because the timing scenario fits, we believe our daughter took this card from my husband's wallet. We don't know what to do. She has a low paying minimum wage job (evidently needs a second job). She has stopped her drug use and is working full time this past year, which we are very pround of her for. I believe she just doesn't want to ask us for extra money, so she took it. We don't know how to help her or what to do.

Does the father of her child pay child support? Your daughter already has two jobs: working a minimum wage job and the best job in the world: parenting her child. You can help her by asking her outright if she has seen her father's gift card; how you can help her attain skills that will lead to a better paying job when her child is of school age; and telling her to what extent she is to receive support from you until that time. During this discussion you can tell her how proud you are she stopped her drug use, and suggest that if she is ever tempted to fall into that again, to tell you so that you can support her while she seeks treatment. I send you love and courage.

[Perna]

I think you have to confront her with your suspicions, get a conversation going before you can help her? If both sides are "ignoring" the problems, trying to pretend they don't exist and only working from their own side, nothing can be done?