[StitchIsAwesome135]

So I have a two in one sorta deal i'm looking for some insight on. I've liked this girl for a good while now, for all intents and purposes we are a "perfect" couple but for whatever reason it just doesn't work out between us. She's still one of the best friends a guy could ask for and I'm not gonna let that go at all. Just wanted to see if anyone could help with a way to maybe jumpstart the mentality change?

Also, I can't communicate for crap and since my depression is dragging me through the mud I feel like i'm losing the people that are really important to me. As far as I see it there is no reason for me to be thinking this so how have any of you coped with situations like this?

Thanks in advance

[Direction]

"perfect couple" and "doesn't work out between us" really doesn't work in the same sentence...

I'm not sure...I'm getting the impression jumpstarting the mentality change means...how do I change her mind? I would suggest changing the question to...How do I change my mind...ok?

Sometimes my mind does this too...I call them the lies within...others call them distortions. So if you are thinking that she will change if you just demonstrate or say x, y, z or pressure her enough. This really is an example of Fallacy of Change...We need to change people because our hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.

In what ways do you think you are not communicating correctly when depressed?

[BatsAndButterflies]

Maybe you should start by realizing she may love you in a different way. Also, if you feel like you are losing those close to you, make it known to them. They may feel the same way and they don't want to lose you either. Real friends won't let a friendship die without a fight.

[shezbut]

StitchIsAwesome135,

I completely agree with Direction's interpretation of what you mean by "jumpstart the mentality change". It feels like you are saying that you need to find the motivation to get the girl's physical attention, and how can you do it?

I really can't give advice on how you could get her physical attention & change the relationship to a romantic style. I just advise against putting on an act for someone else's attention. It would only hurt you and her emotionally. There are no winners in relationships like thise described.

The best advice I can offer to you is to be honest with yourself. Who you are, why you feel ___, who can you really trust with your emotions. Acknowledging the cause of the depression is a huge part of feeling better. From there, accepting that you do feel ___ can help. Especially when you can see that the mood does come more bearable at certain times. That knowledge gives you the tenacity at sticking with treatment, to get your feelings under control. Forgiveness or apology may be necessary for you to get any farther in your treatment, and finally gather self-acceptance.

Yes, it is a long road. Best wishes!

[BatsAndButterflies]

I think what you are trying to do is jumpstart your own mentality change. If so you need to first DECIDE that it is time to move on. It's not easy to just change the way you view someone... but maybe you can shift your view to a different sort of like.