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Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2010
Posts: 9
13 |
Jun 12, 2011 at 05:20 AM
#1
I think my bf would be the last person to cheat on someone. He was cheated on before in his previous 8 yrs old relationship. With me, he understands that I’m the perfect fit to be his girlfriend/future wife. He’s very picky and careful when selecting his girlfriend (when he look for a gf, he’s actually looking for a future wife.) and I happen the be the one that fit most of the qualifications he asks for. Especially the cheating part, because I’m extremely faithful and he’s kinda paranoid.
In our workplace we usually surround by a lot of girls, some are hot, young, old, nice, ugly. My bf is a BIG flirt but I’m normally ok with it because he does it to EVERYONE and not just to any particular girl. BUT there’s this one girl who is kinda cute although we do see some that are prettier than her. I just have a funny feeling about the way he is around her. He’s less quiet and he’s not acting like a big goof like how he usually are. I know for sure that he does favor her over some other girls that we’ve seen(it could be that they develop a friendship relationship or maybe he gets along better with her than other people we’ve seen?). I don’t know for sure what’s going on so I’m not accusing him anything. But I just really HATE the situation. In a way I am jealous the way he treated her, all polite like that. I know for sure he will not cheat on me EVEN if he has a crush on her, but what if he does really has a crush on her? I’m really not ok with that too. Although we only see her like once a month, and he added her on his facebook. Some reasons that make me paranoid: he did say that she is cute and he would do her if he didn’t has me. he did want to hang out as friends (which we rarely do with clients, and she is one of our clients). She did (or still does) likes him and asked for his number. And she does have his number but he didn’t hide that from me. We don’t normally give our personal cell phone number out, only to our loyal favorite clients. I guess I’m not worry about him cheating on me but I do really hate it if he has a crush on her. I have no negative feeling about her. My guy is a chick magnet so I’m used to seeing girls liking him and flirting with him. It’s just I thought this particular girl got some special attention and I have no real proof other than my gut feeling. I don’t know what to do now. Should I talk to him? He’ll just deny it though. I don’t think our relationship is base much on love. It’s more like a business deal where two partners found each other most trustable and understand that this relationship between these two persons (me and him) will have the least chance of breakup/divorce. Me, on the other does truly in with love him though. I don’t know about the other way around. |
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Magnate
Member Since Dec 2006
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,704
17 
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Jun 12, 2011 at 09:50 AM
#2
My original answer was yes talk to him...but your last paragraph has me questioning all the glowing report about him in your post. I started to go through you post again with this new information that its more like a business deal and you are not sure that he loves you.
My answer is still talk to him. I wouldn't talk to him about this girl you focus on as I think want you really want to know is how he sees your relationship. Business deal or not? Does he love you or not? Best to find out sooner than when married...sending warm thoughts your way! __________________ Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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 qwerty000, salukigirl
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
(SuperPoster!)
17 550 hugs
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Jun 12, 2011 at 10:56 AM
#3
I don't know what country you are from and what dating and relationships are like where you are from. It seems to me, if you and he are both looking for a "business" marriage, that you expect that sort of response from your partner across everything but if you, yourself, would like a love relationship, then you might have to talk to him and see if he is interested in that/loves you and look elsewhere if he is only business-interested. I don't think you can mix and match.
__________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
16 2 hugs
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Jun 12, 2011 at 10:59 PM
#4
Personally, hearing "I'd be with her if it weren't for you" equals "this relationship is comfortable for me but I'm not really into it."
I had a guy say that to me and I left him. He called me up saying some of my mail had come to his house. Little did I know he was using that as a way to get me to come over and see him and her together. She was in his shirt and boxers, p.s. That kind of attitude (for my perception of how a relationship SHOULD be) is total BS. However, like Perna said....if there are set reasons/goals for this relationship that are not necessarily based purely on feelings then I don't see how there can be any bad feelings towards him. You need to figure out what YOU want. Sounds like you want love, and he doesn't. Marriage for the sake of marriage isn't a REAL marriage, IMO. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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