[Glimmerofhope]

Hi all

Hope its ok to post this - is it normal for a date i had been dating for 4 months to have a lack of sex drive > he is 29 - and i have normally dated older men who seemed to have much higher sex drives .
I suppose my question is this is the honeymoon period - yet all we did was sit round his house watching tv and i always had to initate sex - we saw each other once a week coz of distance so u would think he would of made more an effort > thanks

[Direction]

Could be normal, could be stress, could be many things...

It might be worth talking to him to find out what's going on. For me I rarely initiated things as I have a strong fear of rejection...that was from high school until present (40)

[shezbut]

Glimmerofhope,

Have you posted this Q in the female forum? If not, you may want to try it there. You might get a lot more responses.

Sex drive is an individual kind of thing. It is easily affected by many different factors: stress, depression, lack of sleep, certain foods & drugs, and alcohol. Those are all very common inhibitors. Emotional problems are less common causes, but that doesn't mean that they are extremely unusual. In Western society, these types of issues typically aren't talked about openly.

The fact that you've typically been the one who often initiated sex is a clue that something was inhibiting your boyfriend's sex drive. You can talk with your boyfriend about it. Ask if something is bothering him ~ stress, lack of sleep, etc. If he says no, then you can mention (lightly) that you feel that he's not really into sex as much as you are. Ask: is that true? See how he responds.

Go on to explain how you are feeling. Like: (You) feel as though he isn't as sexually interested in you as you are with him. Don't bring up past sexual relationships that you've had. Simply explain that you want to be with him ___. See how he responds. Maybe he just needs to hear those words from you, to bring out his inner animal. Or, maybe that's when his troubling emotions will come forward. Either way, you will have some idea of where to turn after discussing the subject with your bf openly.

Best wishes to you both!

[palemoss]

that sucks. it must feel like a real blow to your self-esteem to always have to initiate it. i know how that is. sometimes guys are just weird around certain girls, i think.

but talk to him.

you deserve a guy who is bananas over you!

[Glimmerofhope]

Thanks to all who answered - we have split up which is fine - but like i say even in the beggining it was very occasional xxx