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  #1  
Old Jun 14, 2011, 09:08 PM
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spaceid spaceid is offline
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I sort of have a theory and was wondering what everyone else thought.

I am terrible at communication. I can't seem to talk about anything serious with people and also have to analyze what people say to see if they are joking, serious, or being sarcastic. I think people are born with the ability to communicate, but we also improve on this skill as we grow up. I personally think my natural ability for communication is not very good. I'm very good at math and physics and find doing these things well comes naturally for me. But just like some people are not the greatest in math no matter how much schooling they have, I feel like I am that same way with communication. No matter how hard I try I have a very hard time understanding people. I don't have a problem making friends, but social situations stress me out very much. The anxiety causes me to keep to myself a lot, but most of the time I prefer some loneliness over the confusion of talking to people.

I wonder whether I just am not good at communication and need to accept it. I have improved, but perhaps I have hit a plateau and just will not improve anymore.

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Old Jun 15, 2011, 11:08 AM
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Direction Direction is offline
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There does seem to be some natural ability for different areas in our lives...I too follow into the category of being good at math and science areas...

I'm not sure about your the answer to this being "accept it". I guess if you mean that your not so good and you need to learn more...yes accept that.

If you haven't explored and practice assertiveness and boundaries which in my opinion we learn from poor models and never really get good at it...is way more important...
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  #3  
Old Jun 15, 2011, 11:50 AM
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shezbut shezbut is offline
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(((spaceid)))

Social skills aren't a natural skill that we're born with. We naturally seek out others, to be part of "society". Social skills are learned all throughout infancy, toddlerhood, young childhood - adulthood.

Science and mathematics aren't real dependent upon social skills. For instance, how many dentists or doctors have you met that could use a better bedside manner? I've met a few ~ and they're ones that I avoid seeing. Decent, good doctors are well-balanced emotionally.

In my opinion, we can always improve. We continue to develop intellectually and emotionally throughout our lives. It isn't always easy to continue development, but that is life. That said, people often do become stagnant in life. They just stop trying to grow. A common struggle for human beings.

You can become better at working through emotions, but it does take work and devotion ~ especially if you are significantly behind others your age. Just keep working at it. Things will improve.

Very best wishes!
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Thanks for this!
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  #4  
Old Jun 16, 2011, 05:35 PM
IceCreamKid IceCreamKid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spaceid View Post
I sort of have a theory and was wondering what everyone else thought.

I am terrible at communication. I can't seem to talk about anything serious with people and also have to analyze what people say to see if they are joking, serious, or being sarcastic. I think people are born with the ability to communicate, but we also improve on this skill as we grow up. I personally think my natural ability for communication is not very good. I'm very good at math and physics and find doing these things well comes naturally for me. But just like some people are not the greatest in math no matter how much schooling they have, I feel like I am that same way with communication. No matter how hard I try I have a very hard time understanding people. I don't have a problem making friends, but social situations stress me out very much. The anxiety causes me to keep to myself a lot, but most of the time I prefer some loneliness over the confusion of talking to people.

I wonder whether I just am not good at communication and need to accept it. I have improved, but perhaps I have hit a plateau and just will not improve anymore.
Hold on just a second. Your written communication is excellent. I understood you very well. I find social situations stressful, but I have no trouble making small talk when I make the effort. I have discovered most people like talking about themselves, and when I make them feel good by listening and asking a few questions or making a comment or two, they come away from our chat thinking I'm a terrific conversationalist. I interact with quite a few people where I work and I can tell many of the people who are somewhat anxious about talking to strangers. They are usually the people I make a point of speaking to. And I find just about all of them have something interesting to say, many of them have good senses of humor, often the next time I see them they initiate the conversation and all of a sudden I realize I know 3 or 4 or 5 more people. So I say it is all right to be quiet sometimes, and a blessing to be able to be kind to someone else who might be even more shy than you are by addressing them and engaging them in a brief conversation. When in doubt, I usually err on the side that people are serious if they say something that could be interpreted in a number of ways. If the person was joking, he or she will likely say so. At that point I'd probably laugh and say "I rarely know when someone is joking!" I believe we are able to increase our understanding and the ability to communicate throughout our lives--I certainly hope so! That means I can continue to improve.
  #5  
Old Jun 17, 2011, 02:52 PM
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brokenwalls brokenwalls is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2011
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you can always improve yourself if you try hard to improve yourself but feel like you didnt get any better then try even harder. you might not notice it but you'll slowly improve. i too fell anxiety when im in a big group conversation. so sometime i feel like i rather be alone then in a big conversation. sometimes i feel like im not being heard but sometime i get tired of running a way and hiding so i force my self to stay and converse with them. the only way to get better is by practicing and pushing your limits. its hard but when you get past that hurdle you feel good about it. good luck.
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