[ChocolateMilk]

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. 5 of those years I had to put up with physical abuse each time we would get into a heated arguement. (Every 3 months or so) Finally in April I left my boyfriend and moved all the way across the country to live with my best friend. My boyfriend still called me constantly and though I'd try to get him to stop, he'd call me literally 15 times in a three hour time frame. I still told him I loved him and cared about him, because I did. While I was living with my friend, my boyfriend started going to anger management therapy sessions 2-3 times weekly. He really seemed like he wanted to make a change in himself for the both of us. He was serious about it this time. When close friends of ours would ask where I was, he'd tell them I left. And when they asked why, he'd always admit why. During this time I was angry with my boyfriend because before I had moved away I gave him the opportunity to start going to anger management and he said to me "I dont like my bank account to go below a thousand dollars, and that class is over 300 bucks and I only have 1300 right now." What a slap to the freakin' face! His money was more important than me! Especially when 2 days later he purchased a $300 table set for our deck. Basically my boyfriend waited until I was one foot out the door before he told me he wanted to do whatever it takes to be together. At that point, my bags were packed, my friend flew in to help me pack and drive across country together, there was no turning back. After all, I gave this guy 5 years to straighten up. And dealt with his lies to "never do it again" time after time. I get to my friends place and a week into it I become interested in a guy that is coming to her house to hang with her husband. He was single. We flirted. We went on a few dates together. I spent the night with him. We had sex. We still werent "official", just dating. The sex happened three weeks into living with my friend. A week later my friend and I get into a huge argument because she doesn't want me dating this guy. Suddenly my ex is calling me because apparently my "best friend" had texted him that I had sex with another guy. I told him it wasn't true/none of his business anyway. After i told him the whole situation between my friend and i, he asked if I wanted him to fly out to get me and we could drive out to my parents house and from there we could decide whether we would continue to our old home together, Or if I would stay at my parents. The next morning he is flying in to where I'm at. I pick him up from the airport and we decided to stay at the beach a while and hang out for a day before heading back to my folks house. During the drive back I intended on telling my boyfriend about my having sex with someone else.. Not even thirty minutes into the drive and my "best friend" is txting my boyfriend the exact txt messages that I had texted her saying I had sex with this guy. Before I can say a word, he already knows everything. Whole drive to my parents is LONG. He decided he wanted to work things out so we continued back to our old home. From there we've seen counselors together and we're both really working hard on getting our lives back on track together. It makes it hard to do so when my boyfriend keeps pulling up old facebook messages from the time we were broken up where I flirted with other guys and such then it's back to square one on rebuilding trust because I didnt tell him about these messages before. How much detail should my boyfriend be allowed to know when it comes to what I did during that time? He's wanting to know exact positions I did with this guy, how long we kissed, or how often, how many dates, did we hold hands?, What did I wear..etc..My boyfriend keeps lashing out and calling me a slut and telling me to move back in with my parents, but then moments later he tells me he didnt mean it. Our counselor said I should expect this, and not to take it to heart but it's hard. I understand he's just angry, but sometimes he really convinces me he is serious when he sees I'm not letting my emotions get the best of me. What can I do to help my boyfriend get over this? I can't tell him "we were broken up" because he looks at it as I cheated.

Hi Chocolatemilk.
You've been together 6 years and have been fighting the entire time? He's been abusive most of this time?
You left to get away from him, and tried to move on with your life and now he's giving you a hard time?
a) don't ever speak to your so called friend again....what an awful thing she did to you.
b) get rid of the guy - he is nothing but bad news - you didn't mention one thing you liked about him, why you love him, just all the things he said he was going to do but didn't and how he is continuing to make you feel bad.
I don't see this guy offering you any second chances when you've given him plenty - give him the door.

[idgaf]

what kind of a friend does that to you????

he sounds like a jerk and so does she. it sounds like you need to distane yourself from jerks.

i wouldn't give a guy a second chance if he hit me for a year straight. let alone 5.

you need to work on your self-worth i think. go educate yourself on a lot of different things. go spend time alone. read tons of books. try to identify people who wont treat you that way. why move into your parents house? because you slept with a guy after wanting to get away from your boyfriend?? god what does he think your 12? yuck.

sorry but for me that relationship would have been dead long ago