[Brina1891]

Ok I'm not sure how short I can make this so bare with me. I'm 29 years old, I have been with the father of my children on and off for 15 years now. I have only ever had 3 other relationships lasting less than 3 months each. My kid's father and I live in the same house in separate rooms on opposite sides of the house. We cannot stand each other and right now have not talked for over 5 days. We avoid each other at all cost. In 2006 I met a man who was 14 years older than me, we dated for 3 months then he just disappeared from my life. In 2009 I dated a friend of mine for about 2 months then he just up and hid then several months later told me he wasn't good enough for me. In 2010 I started seeing a guy for about 1 1/2 months but I broke it off because he was very clingy, baby talked to everyone, and the sex was really bad. I just cannot seem to get close to any man enough to fall in love. I've never felt like I loved any of them. I cared for them deeply but it was never enough that I would call it love. I am getting older and I am ready to meet someone and settle down but I'm afraid I'm not able to commit to someone and have a healthy relationship. I'm very controlling and want my space and everything the way I want it. One of my exs described be as being like a cat, Love me when I want to be loved otherwise leave me alone. I want to have a meaningful relationship, get married, and spend my life with someone but I'm so afraid that I'm not capable of letting myself get close enough to someone for that. Any advice?

[spacebound]

I am going thro something similar, idk what to say

[Direction]

Originally Posted by Brina1891

I'm not able to commit to someone and have a healthy relationship. I'm very controlling and want my space and everything the way I want it. One of my exs described be as being like a cat, Love me when I want to be loved otherwise leave me alone. I want to have a meaningful relationship, get married, and spend my life with someone but I'm so afraid that I'm not capable of letting myself get close enough to someone for that. Any advice?

I think you laid out some pretty insightful things about yourself...these would be good areas to start. When you have worked through them enough to practice dating, make sure you have secured your own place. I'm guessing potential suitors may find you living with the father of your child a bit unsettling.