[Gdawg123]

Thank you for taking the time to look at this. Me and my girlfriend have been together since we were 16 we are both 23 now. Noone ever teachs you how to be during a relationship. We both have made mistakes emotionally hurting each other in our past. She Moved across the united states with a friend who turned out not to be a good friend. She was gone for one month and during that month she lied to me a lot and made me feel like she was still wanting to be with me if I got help.(which I did)during that entire time she started "dating another guy" Would not let him say its official reason I think is so he wouldn't put it on his fb and me find out. She treated me bad during this period but would always tell me she loves me and wants to be together again someday. She slept with this guy. they went on some more dates and then she and her friend she was living with got in a fight and she wanted to come back she said she realized that she had the person she wanted and did not know what she was thinking. Well the morning be for she Told me to come get here she told this guy how great he is and how she did not want to be in a relationship like her last (me) and she was rdy to start one with him basically. so later that day I bought a ticket for the next day. Later that night she got a hotel room and well the guy wanted to see her be for she left she said no at first then said ok meet me across the street. They talked for a hour or so she says even tho she told me she would call me soon and did not till 4 in the morning. Her friend told me she had been sleeping with that guy. and I did not believe it I flew out there we hung out had a good time had sex she never admitted to having sex with him.
next day we headed back her friend sends me a text with a screenshot of my gf text saying " i was boning this guy all day i feel like a 10cent *****"
well when i got that she admitted to doing it saying " it was one time not all day it was not good I did not get off and never did it again after" I do not know what to do. She said she told me everything they did and she went into detail so its hard to say she is lieing because she told me details but what if she left a lot out she always seems to sugar coat things toward me. I guess my questions is what do I do to get over this. I know i did wrong but i did what i did to fix it and she treated me like **** during that time. now she is back and trying to prove to me how much she loves me and wants to be with me she knows now she messed up and its hard for me to look at her the same. Just was lied to a lot. I have forgiven her but I can not forget and it tears me apart everyday. I feel like she will never do anything like that again. I want to be with her but it is very hard to get thru. I know all my friends believe I should not take her back because they knew what was prolly going on while she was out there . Even tho i did not say anything to anyone about it so I look like a punk for taking her back so fast. She treats me very good now and we get along well only problem is me getting over the fact that she slept with another guy and lied so much and treated me like **** while doing it but keeping me hanging like i was plan B. Sorry for the wall of text i have a lot on my mind.

[ohyouknow]

Originally Posted by Gdawg123

Thank you for taking the time to look at this. Me and my girlfriend have been together since we were 16 we are both 23 now. Noone ever teachs you how to be during a relationship. We both have made mistakes emotionally hurting each other in our past. She Moved across the united states with a friend who turned out not to be a good friend. She was gone for one month and during that month she lied to me a lot and made me feel like she was still wanting to be with me if I got help.(which I did)during that entire time she started "dating another guy" Would not let him say its official reason I think is so he wouldn't put it on his fb and me find out. She treated me bad during this period but would always tell me she loves me and wants to be together again someday. She slept with this guy. they went on some more dates and then she and her friend she was living with got in a fight and she wanted to come back she said she realized that she had the person she wanted and did not know what she was thinking. Well the morning be for she Told me to come get here she told this guy how great he is and how she did not want to be in a relationship like her last (me) and she was rdy to start one with him basically. so later that day I bought a ticket for the next day. Later that night she got a hotel room and well the guy wanted to see her be for she left she said no at first then said ok meet me across the street. They talked for a hour or so she says even tho she told me she would call me soon and did not till 4 in the morning. Her friend told me she had been sleeping with that guy. and I did not believe it I flew out there we hung out had a good time had sex she never admitted to having sex with him.
next day we headed back her friend sends me a text with a screenshot of my gf text saying " i was boning this guy all day i feel like a 10cent *****"
well when i got that she admitted to doing it saying " it was one time not all day it was not good I did not get off and never did it again after" I do not know what to do. She said she told me everything they did and she went into detail so its hard to say she is lieing because she told me details but what if she left a lot out she always seems to sugar coat things toward me. I guess my questions is what do I do to get over this. I know i did wrong but i did what i did to fix it and she treated me like **** during that time. now she is back and trying to prove to me how much she loves me and wants to be with me she knows now she messed up and its hard for me to look at her the same. Just was lied to a lot. I have forgiven her but I can not forget and it tears me apart everyday. I feel like she will never do anything like that again. I want to be with her but it is very hard to get thru. I know all my friends believe I should not take her back because they knew what was prolly going on while she was out there . Even tho i did not say anything to anyone about it so I look like a punk for taking her back so fast. She treats me very good now and we get along well only problem is me getting over the fact that she slept with another guy and lied so much and treated me like **** while doing it but keeping me hanging like i was plan B. Sorry for the wall of text i have a lot on my mind.

I'm sorry about your situation. I don't even know where to start.
This is such an unhealthy relationship on so many levels. Pardon me if I sound harsh but I'm an outsider looking in, and I see very little good being done.

Your girlfriend does not seem emotionally mature enough to be in the steady relationship that you're looking for. You have good reason to worry. Your friends are also looking from the outside in and they probably see the same thing I see: trouble in the long run. And this is because your girlfriend is saying a lot of the same things she probably said to get in the other guy's pants. IMO she's not after you, she's after the sex.

I'm guessing she's been hurt by guys in the past and maybe not have had the best father figure which is why her idea of a relationship is skewered. She needs help and only after she figures her own life out can she bring other people into it.
It's hard to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to be in one. You were right, no one tells you how to be in a relationship. You be the judge of that.

What to do to get over this? Talk to her. You need to break down the wall that she's put up. You need to figure out why your girlfriend lied to you. Why was she pursuing the relationship? Don't drown your feelings out. Don't keep them a secret. You want to talk and you want advice, and that's why you posted here. Just get your feelings out. If she loves you she'll understand, not brush them off.

Finally, I don't think you should be in this relationship. Just my opinion. You may have known her for 6 years but if they haven't been a good 6 years, why put yourself through more trouble? If you can't deal with it now, don't convince yourself you'll be able to deal with it in the future because these types of things don't solve themselves.

I hope this opens your eyes. Sorry if I was of little help, and best of luck to you through this difficult time.

[Soul Quake]

Do you think if she wasn't caught in her lie that she would have actually admitted to this?

She was screwing that guy in the very time frame in which she claimed she would call you back!

Do you think if her room mate status was more favorable, and she did not have to leave, that she would have even came crawling back to you to get her out of there?

Listen to your friends. Hopefully you are using condoms.