[Jenn1fer82]

Is it normal to have a friend that never calls you unless they want to invite you to a bday party or house warming party etc... ?

Her and I use to be very close but with age and years we grew apart and there were some hard feelings but in time we were able to say hi. She only text me to invite me to an event she's having but she never calls to talk, text me to say hi and we haven't seen each other for months.

I start to think that is she only inviting me for a bday gift or a house warming gift or something. How sincere of the friendship if we dont even talk or go out for coffee.

My bf said its normal and some friends are just like that.

[OurLadysTears]

Many of my once close friends in high school are now distant friends. I have some friends that only call me when they have a problem and I have other friends who randomly call me after not hearing from them for nearly a year. Things change the older you get and although some people stay in your life, some relationships change and become distant. People change and life's circumstances change and eventually you will find that new people may enter your life and you may end up having closer bonds with them. I think people come and go and help us learn and grow along the way. It is considered common, but maybe there is something you could do to mend the relationship.

Hello, Jenn1fer82. Normal is subjective. I am uncomfortable when one I think of as a friend calls only when she wants something.

How important is this person to you as a friend? If she if important, do you initiate contact and seek to foster a friendship more in line with what you want?

[beauflow]

I have this issue too but yet I do not initiate contact, of course my few buds that do email or call in a blue moon realize I am an odd ball. But then I never see as an invite to a part or celebration as they want something from me....
I take it as they want to see me.... Idk though... But I can relate to you

[Jenn1fer82]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Hello, Jenn1fer82. Normal is subjective. I am uncomfortable when one I think of as a friend calls only when she wants something.

How important is this person to you as a friend? If she if important, do you initiate contact and seek to foster a friendship more in line with what you want?

When we were close we were like sisters, spoke every day, and saw one another ever other day. We were friends since 7th grade and in our early twenties we grew apart. She started a family with a new husband and child and I was enjoying my college years, dating and enjoying my twenties. It didnt help either when I didnt like her husband at the time and even some jealousy that I lost my bestfriend to him. Well soon enough we stopped talked to one another.

Now that we're 29 years we are very different now and yes I miss the friendship and trust we once had. I wish we can have that friendship again so thats why I would like for her to call me and talk to me but I only hear from her when she wants me to come by for a party that she's having for her family. I begin to wonder why she won't hang out with me at other causal times.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Jennifer,

Yip have many friends like that. They only called me or texted me or emailed me if they needed a shoulder to cry on and advice or if there was a party to go to. When I became ill they weren't there for me and I soon learnt they were such users. I took it to heart (obviously) and got so hurt thinking it was me. Since being unemployed for nearly 7 months I have not seen nor heard from any of them. I had to read on Facebook all about their social lives and what they were getting up to. In the end I deleted them all off of Facebook. Ye I felt guilty about doing this but then my Sister made me realise I was torturing myself by thinking it was all my fault and that was making it harder for me to deal/cope with my illness

[unaluna]

You can have a relationship with her again but it will be more work than when you guys were younger. She is inviting you to be a part of her family life. From there, you could attend her kids ballgames with her, be like an aunt. She probably doesn't get much time to herself alone, so it's not a slam to you. I wish I had done more of this myself, is why I'm saying it to you now. It's how you build a life.

[Purple Heart]

Hi Jennifer

20 years ago when i finished school I made a decion in early adulthood that I would only be friends with people if they rang me too. Ones that never rang me I decided to stop contact. Back then I'd rather be alone than have to chase after people who didn't value me anyway.