[IceCreamKid]

Recently I got on the bus and sat behind a man who appeared to have had a skin problem and maybe had social anxiety or Tourettes. I saw him glance at me as I went to sit down. He became more and more agitated and started tic'ing. I thought for a second maybe I should move to another seat and then I thought that might make him feel worse, like I wanted to get away from him so I just sat there quietly and thought to myself "everyone has burdens, some are more obvious than others (and obviously one of mine was to agitate other people). Anyway, I sat there and thought that when my mind was open I learned something every day and this was another lesson in what it is to love humanity. The other day I got on the bus again and he was there but this time sitting in a seat that faced the aisle so that he had no one behind him and he was perfectly calm. I guess what I wanted to say here was when you think people are judging you and thinking poorly of you that might not be the case at all, it probably isn't.

[danii24]

thats true but how how do u stop it from feeling real? i mean when u think someone is looking at you judging etc it feals real so you believe it. how do u stop it from feeling real ?

[Rose76]

It is a something to bear in mind.

[Visioneer]

Having been through a lot of bullying as a kid, I have always been paranoid that when others are laughing, they are laughing at me, somehow. I worry that people don't want to sit beside me on the bus for some reason. I feel like they look at me and then decide not to sit there and I don't know why.

I am conscious that the same thing happens to others, that they worry that I am judging them. So it does make me conscious that I might be looking at people too much and making them uncomfortable. But it also brings up the fact that we can do little things to treat others respectfully and help them have positive experiences in a world that might otherwise be painful.

Sometimes a smile is the best thing we can give a stranger. I'm also not afraid to ask people who look like they are having trouble if they are ok. It can make a difference just knowing that someone cares, even if they don't know you.

Of course, this could also make them angry... but I think it's better to try in the hopes that I might help them, than to worry about getting rejected myself.

All of this is hard to navigate in a society that is so scared of talking to strangers!