[LittleForgetMeNot]

A boy I had met once 4 years ago and liked a lot had come back a couple months ago on facebook and added me. He suddenly said he liked me and somehow we started dating. I had a horrible feeling it was my ex-best friend who I hate with a passion but went along for the hell of it. I did not get emotionally attached as it only lased for a week and then they disappeared. I didn't care and am now in a better REAL LIFE relationship (the one with this kid was only facebook.. and I didn't even wanna be in it) for over a month.

But today I checked my old messages and realize that the facebook profile that had been sending me messages.. well the name changed to my ex-best friends. This means that yes it was indeed my stalker trying to harass me again. Lovely. I don't care about the fact that I had been lied to because I knew the whole time and wasn't really affected once I had calmed down (I did go into panic, self-destruct mode for a while but then I decided to just play along anyway) but the fact that she once again had gone out of her way to harass me and mess with my life is what's irritating me. I mean.. it's been 4 years, why can't she stop? She was the one to tear up my 2 year relationship by getting him to cheat on me with her. She's harassed me constantly for years and I'm no longer AS affected because she's only an online stalker and I'm now more involved in real life activities but the fact that she's still holding on...

Ugh. I just feel like there is a dead anger inside of me.. An anger that wants to explode but would rather stay calm and suffocate me. There is no way to get rid of this girl. I've blocked her and delete her and she keeps making fake facebook or e-mails to see me. She says she's not obsessed but what do you call this? Mild longing for communication and to ruin someone's life?

[jamminpianogirl]

Definitely sounds like a bit of an obsession. Be very careful about who you add on facebook and who you are communicating via internet. Make sure you have explicitly expressed to her that you are in no way interested in maintaining contact and she is not welcome to contact you. There's always measures you can take if this turns into a real stalking situation, although right now it sounds like she is an emotionally insecure/dependent person and is just being disrespectful.

I can relate. Soon after I refused my ex-husband's friend request, and blocked him, an innocent request appeared among several others, a common happening for me because I play several games on Facebook that require "neighbors." Since I had my ex-husband blocked, I could not see that he appeared in this person's friend list. I accepted the request, and over time I noticed that this person did not continue to play any of the games in which we were "neighbors," but did quite a bit of commenting on my status updates and writing on my wall. Just casual chat, as I do with many of my Facebook-only friends. Ever so gradually he showed more and more interest in my personal life, and it started to give me the creeps. At that point my daughter confessed. He had sworn her to secrecy, but that person was my ex-husband, using a false name.

I immediately blocked that account too, and I requested on my page that all incoming neighbor requests please tell me where they know me from and what game they play, or I cannot accept, since I had been duped by my ex-husband. Eventually another friend request came in, dutifully assuring me, "I am not your ex." He was connected to several Facebook friends I've had for years, who are known to be safe. Stockholm, Sweden, of all places, is what this guy showed for a location.

After I accepted, same pattern. No neighboring in the games, but awfully interested in my status updates. It didn't take me long to develop suspicions. He knew a little too much about me for some perfect stranger in Sweden.

Note that when you block somebody, it's as if their account ceases to exist. You can't see their page. Their name won't come up in a search. You can't read posts they make on anyone else's page, and they won't show up in anybody's friend list. So, I looked at the "Swedish" guy's page through my current husband's account. My ex was a "friend" of his, AND so was the false account he had created the first time. Confronted, he confessed. Yet again, he had created a false account so he could keep in touch with me. (And Stockholm as a chosen false location? The symbolism of "Stockholm syndrome" is not lost on me!)

I alerted all of my Facebook friends who were connected to him. They were innocent and had only added him as a game buddy, and upon finding out the truth, they all deleted him. My brother, who had also been connected to the two false accounts thinking they were two friends of my ex-husband's, was furious and went public with the fact that the accounts were fake. Facebook itself was notified. My ex has been informed that any further attempts to contact me in any way will get him arrested and charged with stalking. So far there has not been another problem.