[vanessaG]

My dad and I are not speaking as of now. I was in a VERY depressed state like 3-4 days ago, called him crying for some support....noooo not from him! I told him how i hate that he thinks its a great idea me n the girls stay with my EX for now even though we fight nonstop when he has 2 rooms and an extra bathroom like 2 blocks away from the girls' school but wont let us stay there cuz 'he cant deal with noise from the girls when he gets home from work!!" WTF

I really told him why did you bring me back to the bay area then acting like you were going to be all supportive when your not?? All he tells me is you need to get counseling. Ohhhh wow..thx for that wonderful piece of advice i did not know! I cried explaining to him like when im down, i can barely get out of bed, not showering, nothing...hell i can barely take my girls to school...n hes like how and i supposed to know??! wow...maybe because you have known me n my issues your whole friggen life! Ugh..well im just venting... thx for listening.

He brought me down from central valley saying he'll be more supportive and he will pay the $$ to break my lease and I can pay him back....well the $$ is due Sep 1st from the old apts so i called him this morning and he has BIG attitude with me when i ask him if he still plans on paying the fee for breaking my lease. I dont think hes gonna do it...

Greeeaaattttt! now on top of pretty much losing everything, living with my ex....im now going to have a damn eviction on my record because of my own damn father. Perfect.....just perfect. love my life!!!!! ugh

Hes being awful towards me because i have mood swings....really???

[MadSciPanda]

Hey Vanessa,

I'm sorry to hear about that. I have had some difficulties with my family not understanding what I'm going through nor giving me the support I had been looking for. It never helps to have financial issues and past relationships mixed in with all the initial problems either.

When's the last time you talked to your dad? Have you guys had problems like this before, where he would break important promises?

Take care,
Erin

[beauflow]

VanessG- I am not sure what to suggest-

I myself and my personal family in the past with mood swings we used to get so up tight and mad at each other with every thing- unfortunately with out some owning up to their mistakes and painful comments and hurtfulness- I let the ties break due to I cant deal with the chaos any more-This Not to say that I don't have mood swings, not to say that i have not said things in the past that may have been "mean"- but the realization of it and to apologies with give some back ground on whats going on with me and have understanding on the other end with the few I still do talk to (Sisters and 1 bro that's it)- is what makes those work.

Have you tried to sit down and talk to you dad? maybe he has had something that has came up that was unforeseen and is now in a bind but it is hard for him to tell you if you are flying off the handle (I am not trying to be mean but if that is what he sees with him saying you need to go to therapy,perhaps it is hard for him to approach) I am not saying that is right- or even what is going on- Just a "what if" factor.

I am sorry you are going throu a rough patch right now i do hope you the best

[vanessaG]

no we havent really had too many issues regarding this...unfortunatley I spoke to him yesterday and he confirmed that he now has changed his mind and will def not pay the $ so of course i flipped n wrote him an email saying our relationship is over. IDK if it was worng or right-but its the way i feel....it sucks but im really trying to get thru all this crap right now, and he added a HUGE unnecessary burden that he didnt have to so it is what it is i guess.
I just wish he understood me better or at least tried to help me out somehow-even it was was just support...but i guess im on my own now dealing with this!

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by vanessaG

no we havent really had too many issues regarding this...unfortunatley I spoke to him yesterday and he confirmed that he now has changed his mind and will def not pay the $ so of course i flipped n wrote him an email saying our relationship is over. IDK if it was worng or right-but its the way i feel.......but i guess im on my own now dealing with this!

(((Vanessa)))

I can really understand everything that you're talking about. My mom is very similar. We've spun around the tree to many times, and it is maddening!

Just recently, 3-4 weeks ago, I told her and my dad not to ever contact me. I need space, emotional and physical, from them. I do feel bad for my young daughters (ages 9 and 6), because I avoid seeing my parents completely. The girls do still have some contact with my parents, as my ex-hub uses them for babysitting regularly. But, for my own sanity, I needed to break that sick bond between us.

I wrote an e-mail letter to them, explaining that I needed space. That I was trying to work through dark memories from my childhood (things that have been haunting me for most of my life), which they & the rest of my family are intertwined with. So, don't expect me to call, write, or visit. I needed to do this for myself. And I left it at that.

I haven't heard back from them (or anyone else in the family), which is both a relief and worry. Like, I worry that they're saying bad things about me. ~whatever~ I can't let those fears stop me anymore.

Sounds like you did a similar thing with your dad, just not in the most polite way. And that's okay. It was wrong of him to encourage you to move back, but then not be there to actually support you when you got there! Aaaargh! I don't know what they're thinking when they make foolish promises like these, but it always hurts you for believing them. Maybe they're whimsical kind of people. Like they don't fully think things through before talking? I just hate that though!

Big hugs to you ~ I HOPE that you and your kids are able to get through this without a lot of trauma. I wish you the best. Don't give in to his grand ideas again either.