[palemoss]

so i finally went out with mr. flakey.

he paid for everything, drove, was a complete gentleman, and complimented my intelligence. we also made out. and talked for hours. he told me some deep things.

only he had a few gafs.
(1) talked about his ex - it was weird...she is totally co-dependent and dramatic, but he was mentioning how she wants to move in with him and it scared him and they broke up.
(2) blurted out "i love her - but"
(3) mentioned that he is attracted to blondes ( i am a brunette with olive skin)

i don't know why he said those things. he seemed interested in me, i think? he paid for everything like i said and even wanted me to come over to his apt! in addition, he said he appreciated & found sexy how i have my career on track and that i'm ambitious and educated

BUT WHY WOULD A GUY DO THIS?

at the end of the date i just felt empty, weak, and insecure.

----

i think he just wanted an easy lay.

[beauflow]

Idk I never dated and am with my first bf; but I think you should trust your gut feeling,
Plus if he got scared with the exgirl I guess some guys do a ''rubber band effect'' and if he still loves her as he blurted out maybe he is just in his I need to calm down stage.

I wish you the best!
And who knows maybe things misread?

But I say what does your gut or heart tell you???

[palemoss]

my gut tells me he is full of BS.

[kitten16]

Your gut is right, Palemoss. RUN.

Ooh, the blonde thing is a HUGE red flag for me. Here's my take, because I've known SO MANY GUYS who cut me down/couldn't stop talking about their ex/couldn't stop ogling other women/didn't call back/didn't introduce me to their friends/told me my boobs were too small/ told me my boobs were too big/cut me down when I was achieving something/ etc. etc. etc.

He's insecure and hostile. Something about you threatens him. And he's still obsessed with his ex. Two big red flags telling you to RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.

This date was a test. I don't think he was deliberately testing you, but that's what it was. Deep down in his funny little reptile brain, he's all: I'm going to be the biggest $hit I know how to be to her, and THEN I'll ask her to sleep with me! Genius! If she does, she's giving me permission to just keep on being a major douchebag $hit! Easy peasy!

But you didn't fall for his crap. Good on you

[palemoss]

we actually hung out again and he seemed quite insecure. he knows his game isnt working with me. i just wanna be his friend, he's loads of fun and i like going out so - why not. I KNOW I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. nor do i want to.

[OurLadysTears]

I don't mind when a guy talks about any of their ex's, but it definitely shouldn't be a topic of discussion when first meeting a person. Also, it should be apparent that they are over any previous relationships. I've been in too many situations where the guy couldn't let go of his past and I would be sitting there feeling like crap and as though I wasn't good enough. You don't want to get yourself stuck in one of those situations.

As for him saying he likes blondes, it is hard to say if he meant to say that to stir a reaction out of you. I've said similar things to guys before too. Not to make them feel like crap, but to express my taste. It could be a red flag though... hard to say.

On the bonus side, at least he paid for the date. I can't say I can even remember when someone paid for me! Ha... sad.