[Josh Kade]

Truth be told, I am completely in love with my ex.

We were dating for like, six months, which isn't alot. But I'm 15, and it's a lot to me. Relationships don't tend to last that long for me, or other people my age (that I've found). But yeah.

She's only been my ex for what, a week, 2 weeks. 2 weeks. And I'm down low. We stopped talking for week and a half, so that we could get used to just being away from eachother, so that we could be friends, and the only thing that kept me going (after a period of suicidal tendencies) was the thought of being able to talk to her again.

And now she's just depressing me. I mean, I make her unhappy, because I'm generally depressed, and I used to talk to her about my problems and it was too much for her, but she didn't even tell me that while we were dating, so that revelation has got me all emo and slit-slit-slitty. So I've stopped doing that. But we can't really talk to eachother anymore. She just starts giving me one-word answers and doesn't laugh at my jokes and I have to force a fake laugh and every time she tries to make a joke I have a brown-trousers moment in case she'll realise that it's a fake laugh and be insulted, and realise all the times I've laughed like that it'll have been fake.

I mean, god only knows I should hate her and hate talking to her because now every time I talk to her I just die a little inside and my depression gets to me, and I'm not the most popular guy in the world, so I don't have anybody to really talk to, even if it's just little things like this. But that's not the problem, I'm getting off topic.

I mean, god only knows I should hate her and hate talking to her because now every time I talk to her I die a little inside, but I can't stop. I love her, and I love talking to her. I can't tell her I love her because she's taken an angry approach to me talking anything that isn't light conversation. If I even try to talk anything other than light conversation she'll stop talking to me. I don't want to talk to her because it makes me feel bad, but I don't know what to do, because I love talking to her but I hate talking to her.
I'm stupid, neh.

Okay so in short:
We broke up.
I love her.
I hate her.
Talking to her makes me depressed.
Not talking to her makes me suicidal.
The biggest mistake in this relationship was ever meeting her, because now I don't know anything that can make me as happy as she did.

Sorry for any weirdness in this post I've been a bit weird and today I've decided all forum posts cannot be deleted other than for spelling and grammatical mistakes. So all the 'Like's, 'Um's, and 'I'm going offtopic's are still in here.

So I'm in a bit of a trap hole here. Little help?

[lynn P.]

Hi ((Josh)) - I have some wise advice because I'm much older and more experienced in life. When I was your age I wish I had a mentor type to guide me - maybe it would have saved me from some mistakes and heart aches. Firstly when I was 15 I was completely different than I am now - I was naive and wasn't able to make grown up choices. You're just beginning to learn about romantic relationships. Yes I know, 1st loves are always intense and special - they also seem to hurt the most unfortunately. When a relationship reaches the point where it hurts more than the good times - this is a sign its not good for either of you. Here are some good lessons I've learned:

1. Never put all your self worth into a relationship - meaning if you depend on the other person for your happiness, you'll guaranteed be disappointed. You need to be a complete person and then find another to share that with.

2. Never consider ending your life because a relationship has ended - its not worth it but you are worth more.

3. Pay attention to red flags that signal you're with the wrong person.

4. Give yourself time to grieve but don't ruin your life over that person.

5. Once you're done grieving, try to learn from that relationship.

You have your whole life ahead of you and it will get better in time. Yes loves hurts but you can also remember the special times too.

[Yoda]

Lynn gives good advice. I did not have my first relationship until I was in college but I can remember wishing a guy on the high school basketball team would pay attention to me.

I think it is natural to feel pain after a break up. Time will help ease it. Come here anytime you want to talk about it or anything else on your mind.