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Old Aug 21, 2011, 12:07 AM
fatcat22 fatcat22 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Posts: 1
I, my boyfriend, my best girl friend, her girl cousin, and their boyfriends went vegas in june. We were all looking forward to a our first road trip together. However, the three day stay a vegas destroyed our friendship. During the roadtrip, the other couples fought with each other, brought the group morale down, and brought drama. My boyfriend and I felt like parents making sure we didn't loose anyone, that everybody was okay, and having a good time. finally on the last day of the trip, I blew up. I was so fed up that this trip going down hill that I yelled at my best friend, her boyfriend, and the cousin's boyfriend. I had never yelled at my best friend before. and her boyfriend I entered introduced to her and I originally was friends with first. When I yelled at them, I was so angry that I don't remember what I had said. I mentally blocked it out from my memory. I just yelled. A month later, I spoke with only with her. I wanted to talk and see where our friendship was. I felt like we were both still angry at the other and we left it as whatever. Its been a month since that little meeting and we haven't talked at all. I think about her almost everyday, but I doubt she does of me because according to her cousin, my best friend had stopped talking to her as well because she is all about her boyfriend. And its the first relationship she has ever been in and first sexual experience. Her cousin tells me that she thinks that my best friend doesn't look like she cares about fixing our friendship. Us three girls used to be think as thieves. Now, no one that all went to vegas talks to each other. all three couples just drifted apart. That trip was the turing point for our friendship. Her cousin said she's done with her, but I know she misses talking to her. If I'm thinking about it so much, should I contact her and ask if she would have lunch with me and talk it out again? Or is it too late? I know things won't go back to normal but if we were friends then I know this would work out. I just don't know what to say to her and I know she's changed since I last saw her so I don't know who she is or what's been going on in her life anymore? So much as happened and changed, that I wonder if it's too late.

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  #2  
Old Aug 21, 2011, 05:13 AM
TheByzantine
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Welcome to the Community, fatcat22. Sustaining the friendship seems important to you. Contacting her to reconcile may work. All you have to say is you miss her as a friend and have been wondering how she is doing.

Good luck.
  #3  
Old Aug 21, 2011, 09:26 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
It sounds like it may be too late to me, like your friends are on to other places in their lives and the close relationship you all shared is now "missing" pieces of experience that can't be recovered (she's not sharing with you her love/relationship/experiences anymore). I had a couple good friends where a big, confusing argument/fight caused splits or where a change in their other relationships did. It's possible that even if you had not had the Vegas problems that she might have drifted away, since it sounds like her relationship is now changing her too?

I don't think it would hurt to call her, see what you can learn but I don't know that the relationship can ever be "fixed" so it's back the way it was.
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  #4  
Old Aug 21, 2011, 10:13 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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Trips are often very hard on friendships, it's not just you guys. People's quirks come out that are annoying to other people, and the close contact can trigger. That you don't remember what you said is kind of awkward but I can relate. Maybe a couple's counseling type session with your friend, or the cousin, or even your boyfriend, to discuss what happened. That way the conversation would be more directed than just a lunch. Kind of like when they have peer moderators when kids get into arguments at school?

My mom was ready to kill her brother-in-law after a trip to Florida for how she perceived he treated her sister, and she actually did lose a friend she went on a short cruise with. She blames both problems on me, of course, for encouraging her to take these trips, but I think the common denominator might be more her than me...
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