[lisaxtiffany]

I get very socially awkward around any guy I have a crush on. I was at a club last night and the guy I like was there. I always wind up staring at him probably too much. He noticed last night and whispered in his friend's ear "that girl is staring at me....a lot" and it made me feel like the creepiest girl in the world. Like something out of the movies Swimfan or Fatal Attraction. I'm afraid to even talk to him or be in any social situation involving him ever again because I feel like he hates me. It's happened before with previous crushes. I've even had a guy straight up call me a creep and lie to me about having a girlfriend in a desperate attempt to get me out of his life. What was intimidating about last night was, I really wanted to go up and talk to him but other girls got to him first. They were barely dressed and made me feel like a loser because I was just wearing a nice dress and shoes with a little bit of a heel when they were in halters, tight skirts and stilettos. I feel like because I didnt look like any of those girls, he looked at me with disgust and joked about how ugly i was all night to his buddies. I honestly dont know how to talk to a guy i like without looking like a stalker or getting real paranoid that he might think im ugly or want to get a restraining order or something. By the way, this guy has no idea I have a crush on him because I found in the past if I let the guy know, he wont want anything to do with me.

[Perna]

What you are wearing has nothing to do with it. If you think you'd like to meet a guy, (how can you think you like someone you haven't met/don't really know anything about?) then you have to just do it or not, have to change the "thinking about"/staring thing to action? If you get tangled up in your head about him, what you literally make up in there will make meeting him that much harder and probably a let-down because your imagination is much better than most people can be when first met! Don't spend time making up people, go meet them for real and deal with them for real, it can be scary but it's also a lot more satisfying!

Use your imagination FOR you rather than against you. The minute you think, "that guy looks nice" then just assume he is (our imaginations can think either direction, good or bad, why not work to make yours think good things instead of worrying?) go over and introduce yourself. Even if you bomb, having him interested in someone else will free you up and you won't feel as bad as you do now with feeling like you're a stalker from all the staring?

I don't know how you heard what he said to his friend about your staring but it was not a very kind thing for him to do; he should have come over to you and started flirting or said he noticed and used the lame line about "have we met before" (which would assume you were staring at him because he looked familiar to you so maybe you thought you already knew him). So, though I don't think staring at guys is a good idea, in this case you found out the guy is not quite what you want because he's not very imaginative or thoughtful/kind?