[peaceweb602]

I often criticize my mother because I feel insecure. I live with her. My mother is a maid in a hotel, works an eight hour shift, constantly grocery shops or cleans, watches an hour of news every weekday, and sleeps the rest of the time. I never see my mother read or explore other activities, and it makes me nervous how close minded she is. She's either cooking or cleaning whenever she has free time. I often encourage my mother to read to broaden her mind, or do something more challenging and intellectual, but she ignores me. I don't think the problem is her, I think it's myself. I get so nervous when I see her cooking and cleaning whenever she has time on her hands. It seems like a compulsion. I value education and being informed and aware, however, I'm very insecure about being stupid. I seem to be projecting my insecurities onto my mother. I don't want to be pushy and annoying to my mother, but I just want her to be smarter and to take better care of herself. What do you guys think? Thanks.

[unaluna]

She might have a reading disability and therefore not enjoy reading that much. You could do two things - give her some free time by helping her with the cleaning and and cooking, or read out loud to her while she's doing these things, something that interests both of you. Better to light a candle than curse the darkness, is the old saying that goes here, I think. My mother never let me know that she had a hard time with reading, nor my aunt (my family immigrated), nor even how much trouble they had understanding English. My aunt's doctor recently told her she had a mass in her kidney. My aunt understood it to mean there was a mess in it, ie her kidney was a total mess. It was just a benign tumor, harmless. Like a third of people die with them undiscovered in their bodies, no big deal, they just found it because of another test. Anyway! off the subject, sorry.
If you don't have any common interests, develop your own, get good grades, blah blah blah.

[Soul Quake]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

I just want her to be smarter and to take better care of herself. What do you guys think?

Well at least you have come to realize this is more about you than it is her. What does working 8 hour shifts, primarily doing housework, and watching the news have to do with being "close-minded"?

"Value education and being informed" because that suits YOU. You speak of the importance of being aware. Well, be aware that other people are not you. Other people have their own preferences and priorities. Criticizing isn't helpful. Asserting your wishes upon someone else is counterproductive. Encouragement is useful. If you want to encourage her, encourage her to expand and partake in HER interests, rather than yours.