[DaniR]

My family (my daughter, specifically) is currently going through a difficult time because of the behavior of her former boyfriend, who, (theorizes her counselor and several of my psychotherapist colleagues) is likely a compensatory narcissist.

I am familiar with the traits of a classic narcissist, but this young man doesn't have the overt bravado and confidence usually associated with the disorder. Instead, he yo-yo's between pompous over-confidence and utter dejection.

What has been your experience with this type of disorder?

http://www.narcissisminrelationships.com/dsm.html
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

No offence Byz, I just want to point out that all information within this link should be taken with a grain of salt on the grounds that Sam Vaknin is a moron. And, while he is undoubtedly a narcissist, he hasn't done research on narcissistic personality disorder or even studied in psychology, and his "degree" came from a diploma mill. We've, uh... exchanged some barbs, Sam and I...

As for the original question, I'm not too familiar with the numerous Millon subtypes, even within my own disorder. Although, if I recall, a compensatory narcissist actively uses his or her bravado to cover up underlying negative self-images (compensates), and they tend to be shy and negativistic. Personally, I thought this true of most (if not all) narcissists, so I suppose this is moreso for the compensatory narcissist, where other subtypes may show more amoral features, lack of empathy, entitlement, whorish behaviour, etcetera.

[StrongerMan]

Poor Shmuel... he can't get no respect (in the voice of Rodney Dangerfield).

[DaniR]

You know, I am learning more from this forum than anything else I've found researching on my own. So much to think about, which is exactly what I was hoping to do. Thanks again!

[StrongerMan]

It seems to me the compensatory narcissist exhibits more of the overt signs of their low self esteem and insecurity, ie. self deprecation, depression, anxiety, self-consciousness, etc... But I would venture to say they are quite adept at hiding this side of themselves from acquaintances and the general public. Having read some more on it, I feel my ex girlfriend probably fit this category. The one thing I always thought was missing from her profile was the grandiosity. Maybe this is more common in female narcissists. It is also said that the narcissist will soften at the edges a bit as the effects of middle age set in.