[moonbeam2]

i need advice ,my kid is 14yrs old & he has been hanging out with this kid 17yrs old ,about a year ,there has been issues with this kids dad & his girlfriend not with us,problems like eveytime my kid goes over to his house he gets kicked out the dads girlfriend is the one that kickes him out,i think the problem is this ,the kids dad is picking his girlfriend over his own kid ,he is always getting in trouble & grounded for playing x box & things like that so the kid says, so the emergency is the kid told me his dads girlfriend came home from the hospital today & he was playing x box & the took his cell phone & kicked him out he says all his family is in alabama & he has no other friends & no one to turn to, so he asked me if he can stay for the night & dont no what to do i cant see letting a kid on the street & i told him they cant kick him out cause he is under age,he said he didnt wanna call the cops cause his dad has issues,then he tells me when his mom & dad got devorsed his sister made claims that her dad this kids dad sexually abused her ,he told me his mom wanted him to lie & say the same thing but he didnt thats how he ended up with his dad ,this kid has no idea were is mom & sister live ,when this kid came over my house ,this dads girlfriend found out he was playing x box with my son & was told he was not allwoed in my house ,i never met the kids dad or girlfriend,i dont no what they have against this kid playing x box ,i just think they r out to make this kids a liveing hell,& as i stated the dad is choseing this girlfriend over his kid,i just recoverd from depression i was depressed for a year its been two weeks that i have been feeling better,i really dont wanna get involved with this,i beleaved there is more to the story than what he is saying,i told him i dont know why he is worried about getting his dad introuble when his dad dont even try to protect him,how can i send him out on the streets ,i dont know what to do !i have the child protection sevice number but i wont call them he would have to,to me it all sounds like trouble & i want no parts of it,i have just a few hours to decide what to do ,if anyone has information or advice please let me know ,i reallly need help ! soon

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

It may not be your job to do anything since you are not his parent but I do believe it is everyones job to help the younger in need and this poor guy seems to be in need pretty bad. His mother AND father situation sounds horrible. If his mother asked him to make up lies about his father than she obviously isn't much of a role model her self. If this kids dad keeps kicking him out, someone needs to do something. It's not his fault that his family has abandoned him and he needs someone who can help him right now. To throw him on the streets and make him figure it out is wrong. Unfortunately too many people see it as "it's not my problem I don't want to get involved" but helping someone in need not only does good for that person but it does good for you as well. It makes you feel more useful, helpful and important. Not to mention this kid is at a crossroad in his life, he can follow his parents foot steps and lead an unstable life or you can take the steps needed to show him there is hope for normalcy and happiness around. I'm sorry if this upset you but I am giving my opinion. It's too easy to turn the blind eye but hard to do the right things. He may not be your responsibility, but it is our responsibility as humans to help those in true need if we can

[moonbeam2]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

It may not be your job to do anything since you are not his parent but I do believe it is everyones job to help the younger in need and this poor guy seems to be in need pretty bad. His mother AND father situation sounds horrible. If his mother asked him to make up lies about his father than she obviously isn't much of a role model her self. If this kids dad keeps kicking him out, someone needs to do something. It's not his fault that his family has abandoned him and he needs someone who can help him right now. To throw him on the streets and make him figure it out is wrong. Unfortunately too many people see it as "it's not my problem I don't want to get involved" but helping someone in need not only does good for that person but it does good for you as well. It makes you feel more useful, helpful and important. Not to mention this kid is at a crossroad in his life, he can follow his parents foot steps and lead an unstable life or you can take the steps needed to show him there is hope for normalcy and happiness around. I'm sorry if this upset you but I am giving my opinion. It's too easy to turn the blind eye but hard to do the right things. He may not be your responsibility, but it is our responsibility as humans to help those in true need if we can

as im taliking to him it gets worse,he tells me he is trying to finnd a job but he cant get hired because the white people wont hire him,he is half white & black ,i never thought anything about it but as im talking to him he seems to have a issue with white people his mom is white & his dads girlfriend is white & i am white so i dont get it im confused but im uncompfortable with the tone in his voice when he mentions the white people wont hire him,i know the stores he is aplying for giant eagel they have all kinds of people shop n save same all the places he said he went i know its not true,i really dont know what to do?what i did was told him to try to call his dad & try to work things out,i have problems,bipolar & health problems i dont know if i can take on the stress ,im woundering what is my calling on this one ,iv onely been up & mobile for 2 weeks & dont wanna put myself in a possion to become depressed again im afraid of going there again,& if he cant go home i dont know im so confusssed ,the way he approched my husband was just this,my husband asked him how he was doing he said not good today ,i got kicked out of my dads house & i have no family or friends can i stay here tonight,my husband was gee thanks it sounds to me like ur not giveing me a option, then they talked my husband gave him a nice talk & told him to try to work it out & told him no matter what dont give up on school that kinda stuff, but we dont have a salution yet,its getting late !time is running out im afraid if i step into this there is gonna be trouble & i heard somewere dont tred on trouble waters or something like that,my life sucks !what is god doing to me,did he make me better to help this kid or did he make me better to see if i can handel conflict ?my instinks tells me this is gonna be trouble stay away! thanks for advice i apprecate all opinions i have a open mind ,thanks for helping,

It sounds like you are doing what is best for you, and your own health really does need to come first. Don't feel guilty for setting that boundary. You encouraged him to work it out with his family which is really what needs to happen here. It does sound like a really sticky and volatile situation in their home, and I'm with you. I'm not going to open myself up to what could be really intense trouble. You can be supportive and helpful as much as possible during daylight hours, but to invite a minor into your home without parental permission could really open up a can of worms. If you aren't up to a battle, then place your boundary healthily where it needs to be in order to take care of yourself.

[Yoda]

I would call child protective services and ask to report anonymously since his family seems unstable. If there is a chance that the father would be upset for you allowing the child to sleep at your house I would ask CPS to place him in a shelter or other appropriate place.

[gma45]

You need to take care of you first and follow your instincts. I think you are right on this one. sounds like trouble to me. Two weeks is not long enough to be taking on someone else's problems.

[moonbeam2]

Originally Posted by Yoda

I would call child protective services and ask to report anonymously since his family seems unstable. If there is a chance that the father would be upset for you allowing the child to sleep at your house I would ask CPS to place him in a shelter or other appropriate place.

thanks for helping it was needed ! what i ended up doing was haveing him call his dad & try to work it out,he talked to his dad & then my husband took him home reason being cause the more i talked to the kid the weirder it got typical kid stuff like my husband said why dont you walk to your house & work it out he said cause he dont like walking in the dark, then he said i dont wanna carry my bags cause my arms will hurt ,it was stupid ,at this point i felt like this kid had his mind made up that he was gonna stay at my house like bulling his way in ,he got kicked out of his house for playing x box & yet he comes to my house & what does he play x box not right i told my kid if i got kicked out of my house for playing the game the last thing i would wanna do is play it ,i told him to give up the game,so my husband told him come on ill drive you home then he sitting on my couch telling my husband no i dont wanna deal with it tonight ill just stay over & deal with it tomarrow like we had no say then my husband says lets go so he goes to leave & he leaves his bag sitting there he was told to take it & he said no ill just leave it here,at this point i dont know what to beleave,but i had to let him go,it seems to me all he wanted to do is stay here & play that dam game,im not gonna beleave anything but that his dad waved to my husband when he dropt the kid off they were sitting on the pourch,so i dont wanna sit here & worry about a child i dont know that well lies were starting to come out like he told me he had no idea were his mom was when i talked to him later he told me she worked at giant eagel & then i asked him why he lied at that point i didnt trust him,you want my help be honest,i dont feel bad & im not goona worry ! thank to the people who helpted me it gave me a chance to free my mind so i could make a decision love this websight & the people in it ! its all good even when its bad !

You seem to have handled the situation well.