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#1
Sep 17, 2011, 11:49 PM
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I have been dating this guy for almost 6 months, but we have a history going back three years. He was driving me home and things were really intense. I was really spiced up from the evening already, and as we kissed I asked him if he trusted me and tried to put his hand on my (bare) knee/thigh. I wasn't going for sex or any removal of clothes or anything like that. When I started moving his had towards my leg he realized what I was doing and kinda panicked. He said my name in a very what-are-you-doing kind of way and moved his hand back. We kept on kissing and it ended on a good note, but I'm wondering what went wrong. I know this isn't really a mental thing but I don't know where else to turn. I'm also worried about what this will mean for us, I don't know what I'd do if he started to pull away. Any thoughts?
__________________
Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. |
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#2
Sep 17, 2011, 11:58 PM
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Could it be it is against his morals to have sex before marriage and he doesn't want to do something that might lead to that? But he thinks kissing is OK? Six months is quite a while to be involved with someone so I think you two would be close enough now for you to ask him this question?
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#3
Sep 18, 2011, 04:24 AM
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Hi -- it sounds like he thought things were going too fast -- and perhaps he thinks sex should be saved for marriage. He sounds like a good, moral guy! If I were you, I take things much slower -- and let it grow. You may just have a GREAT GUY here!!
Just take things slow, and maybe you should give him a short "peck" goodnight. LOL But hang onto him -- he sounds like a winner! God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee |
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#4
Sep 18, 2011, 05:02 AM
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Maybe you have a great guy or maybe he has a problem. But I think the best is to talk about it. You do not have to ask directly, you can just talk what he thinks about sex before marriage.
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#5
Sep 18, 2011, 07:34 AM
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It really could be his fear of moving further into a relationship and that could be caused by anything. Why don't you talk to him about it? Relationships are all built on good communication, and the more you can talk about freely the better.
sorry that happened it must have been confusing!
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#6
Sep 18, 2011, 07:41 AM
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Just another thought. Sometimes people just don't want touch of a certain kind. I have been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years and sometimes can't stand being touched by my boyfriend. It's nothing personal, just that I don't like touch sometimes. Maybe indeed you could talk to him about wha the likes/doesn't like. I would recommend you be very careful if you want to keep dating this guy and maybe want to go further.
__________________
"People are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into the wound to discover what your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin." - Tori Amos Current DX (December 2019): autism spectrum disorder, unspecified personality disorder Current RX (December 2019): Abilify 30mg, Celexa 40mg, Ativan 1mg PRN |
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