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  #1  
Old Sep 13, 2011, 02:33 PM
Mediator Mediator is offline
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Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 511
Hi
I try to talk about it in chat but nobody was interested about the problem.
I am fed up behaviour of people to me at work and maybe generally here in the UK.
I am Czech and I am living in the UK. I work with about 6 people in room and they really ignore me or they have a stupid reply to me or they are not honest with me.
My Polish and Russian colleague talked together and they do not care about others. My boss is a choleric who has an alergy for me and it makes me anxious. He is friendly with my other boss and he is angry only if I ask about something what I need to do. There is other English woman she is not interested to talk with anybody.
I asked today my colleague at lunch what she has. She replied "I have my lunch" by expression it is not my business. I do not feel ok about my work by boss tells me even how to make a tea. I am not joking. My other boss who is kind has tendency to be kind and after people are gone she complains. I do not believe her.
Do you have same experience?
Take care
Mediator

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  #2  
Old Sep 13, 2011, 03:52 PM
Ygrec23's Avatar
Ygrec23 Ygrec23 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediator View Post
Hi I try to talk about it in chat but nobody was interested about the problem. I am fed up behaviour of people to me at work and maybe generally here in the UK. I am Czech and I am living in the UK. I work with about 6 people in room and they really ignore me or they have a stupid reply to me or they are not honest with me. My Polish and Russian colleague talked together and they do not care about others. My boss is a choleric who has an alergy for me and it makes me anxious. He is friendly with my other boss and he is angry only if I ask about something what I need to do. There is other English woman she is not interested to talk with anybody.
I asked today my colleague at lunch what she has. She replied "I have my lunch" by expression it is not my business. I do not feel ok about my work by boss tells me even how to make a tea. I am not joking. My other boss who is kind has tendency to be kind and after people are gone she complains. I do not believe her. Do you have same experience? Take care Mediator
Hi, Mediator,

I've been in lots of work situations (though not in the UK) where some people got on with each other and some didn't, including co-workers and supervisors. In many of those cases I hadn't the faintest idea what the real trouble was, whether the personality of one of them, something going wrong at home, a general dislike of foreigners, or whatever. I frequently just had to try to do my work as well as possible and ignore all the others. Not make waves. Be as quiet as can be.

Work situations are strange. Personality really counts, but few if any are willing to explain themselves or even explain others, which is sometimes theoretically feasible because some people have worked there for longer than I and have more experience with the same people. And when foreign nationality comes into play! I worked in Tokyo and in France and I really just had to ignore the Japanese and French because I could never get to the bottom of them.

I would say, do your work as best you can, withdraw from the others except when they invite you to do something with them. In which case, ALWAYS agree and accept the invitation. And of course, do what the boss tells you to do. And if the boss explains to you how to do something like make tea, just listen to him carefully because for all you know he has a special way of making tea different from yours. Smile. Be pleasant. Ask for explanations if needed. And try not to worry too much about things.

I've never worked anywhere where serious, hard work wasn't respected and rewarded. If you can combine that with being pleasant, I'd think you'd be doing all you can. Take care!
__________________
We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23
  #3  
Old Sep 14, 2011, 02:45 PM
Mediator Mediator is offline
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Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 511
Hi Ygrec23
To be honest your reply is not what I looked for. I looked for same buddy. I tried to talk about it in chat here but everybody was without a job.
If you have not work anywhere where serious, hard work wasn't respected and rewarded, be happy. I had always an opposite job. It has to be really interesting experience to work in Japan and France.
Kind regards
Mediator
  #4  
Old Sep 17, 2011, 08:50 AM
lilliank3 lilliank3 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 2
Mediator,
It seems like your workgroup needs some diversity training. The environment of the place at which I work is friendly at times and hostile at other times. There is one young lady who loves to talk about people behind their backs. She talks about people one minute and laughs in their faces the next. No telling what she is saying about people. I try to avoid her at all cost.
As for myself, I usually stay to myself because it is safer that way. No jealousy and no she said this about this person. I address certain people at work and try to talk about work only. I do have one lady I do conversate with. She has alot of problems at home to deal with so she tells me about them when she has time and listen. Other than her I keep to myself.
  #5  
Old Sep 17, 2011, 03:25 PM
Astridetal Astridetal is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 571
I agree your colleagues ans bosses probably need diversity training. I can't be sure their behavior is due to your ethnicity, but it could be, and if it is, that is serious. I am really sorry you are being ignored or talked about behind your back and otherwise offended at work.
__________________
"People are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into the wound to discover what your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin." - Tori Amos

Current DX (December 2019): autism spectrum disorder, unspecified personality disorder
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  #6  
Old Sep 17, 2011, 04:24 PM
Ygrec23's Avatar
Ygrec23 Ygrec23 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediator View Post
Hi Ygrec23. To be honest your reply is not what I looked for. I looked for same buddy. I tried to talk about it in chat here but everybody was without a job. If you have not work anywhere where serious, hard work wasn't respected and rewarded, be happy. I had always an opposite job. It has to be really interesting experience to work in Japan and France. Kind regards. Mediator
I'm sorry, Mediator, if my response wasn't up to expectations. How could serious, hard work not be respected? For me, that would be the worst possible place to work, a place I'd quit as soon as I'd figured that out. You say you have "always an opposite job." How can that be? Companies are in business to make money. Hard work helps them get there. How could they not take your work seriously? I'm fully aware that there are plenty of crazy people in the world, but crazy companies that don't take hard work seriously die much more quickly than human beings. You are in a terrible position. Take care.
__________________
We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23
  #7  
Old Sep 17, 2011, 05:02 PM
Caretaker Leo's Avatar
Caretaker Leo Caretaker Leo is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: US
Posts: 1,019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediator View Post
Hi Ygrec23
To be honest your reply is not what I looked for. I looked for same buddy. I tried to talk about it in chat here but everybody was without a job.
If you have not work anywhere where serious, hard work wasn't respected and rewarded, be happy. I had always an opposite job. It has to be really interesting experience to work in Japan and France.
Kind regards
Mediator
Mediator,
If I read this correctly, it seems you are looking for a friend here who has or is in a similar situation at work. Is that correct?

While it is unlikely that any of us will have the exact same experiences, perhaps responses of somewhat similar experiences could be helpful?
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