This girl at work!

Hi, I have just started a new job few weeks ago. Nobody really knows anyone there but have we have got to know each other over the last few weeks. There is one girl there who i'd say I am attracted to, I think im fairly confident and id like to speak to her more and get to know her better. But, she has 'latched on' to this older guy in the group. He's in his late 30's and shes in her early 20's. No disrespect to the guy but there doesnt seem to be anything special about him - he doesnt seem particulary confident and seems pretty quiet. She also seems abit aggressive and snaps at people when they make a light heated jokes about her

I was wondering why would she have latched onto this guy, when there is younger more confident guys in the group? Could she be genuinely attracted to him? Or, is it more to do with the fact he probs makes her feel secure in a new enviroment?

I know women are attracted to different types of guys but I always assumed most of them preferred confidence!

The reason id like to know the psychology behind her behaviour is A) im studying psychology (jus started) so im just generally interested in peoples behaviours and attitudes and B) because I think shes hot lol

If you would like to get her attention, then do not act interested in her. Remain confident and social at work but do not pursue her aggressively. Get to know her - btw your own "snap" judgement (not that that's bad) about her snapping at ppl sounds like you already don't really dig her (other than being hot that is) - so why get into a messy thing like "dating" your co-worker. I might be the pot calling the kettle black here but learn from my past error - coworker relationships suck if they don't work out.

Your pursuit may actually be turning her off - even if you think you're not really doing anything she may feel your vibe or or hear it in your "confident" tones. If you find you actually like her then just go with the flow and nature will take it's course. Besides what's the rush? Go out and have fun with other girls that actually seem interested in you.

As for "why" she likes the guy that's a little older than you - only she knows that for sure. Sometime girls like older guys 'cuz they think they have their s-hit together & aren't as immature as you youngans (lol), sometimes they have a daddy complex, and sometimes they just like 'em! We likes, whoz we likes.

Anyway good luck and have fun with psych.

Im attracted to older men. Im 38 and my bf is 55 But he's also confident. Everyone is different. But attraction is really complicated .
It's not a mathematical equation. I love my bfriend because he likes bluegrass and plays the guitar and cooks me wonderful dinners and he has gorgeous blue eyes. And he loves my soul. It' s all these things plus something magical. A mystical connection, i feel with him.

"he doesnt seem particulary confident and seems pretty quiet."

sounds like you just described me right there..

you mentioned there are also confidend and younger guys there, such as yourself i'm assuming.. maybe all you guys are the same, that she went for the more mature guy who doesnt think he's the best thing since sliced bread. Also maybe her extroverted personality meshes well with his introverted personality. A symbiotic relationship. Maybe she can tell by looking at him that he is a nice guy.

Just because someone has the balls to say what they feel and go for what they want doesnt make them a bad person.
Finally, I took advice from the other post which said act like you are 'dis-interested' in her (which I did) and now she seems much more responsive!

You've only seen him at a work setting, you don't know if that's really his normal personality. You haven't seen them too together outside of work, can't have any idea of their chemistry. They might be purposely trying to tone down any personal stuff at work.

He sounds like an introvert like I am. I am naturally quiet around people I don't know very well but can be very talkative, excitable around people I'm more familiar with.

I'd be very cautious here. Romantic relations at work can be complicated and way more complicated when another man is already involved. Only pursue her if you feel she's an amazing girl and you can't know that yet. Spend more time casually getting to know her and then you'll have a much better idea if it's worth it. They are already together, so if you pursue her and it cause big distractions at work you'll take most of the blame.

I hear you! But, im not convinced about introverts and extroverts because growing up I was extremley shy but having worked through alot of my issues im quite the opposite now. I think everyone has that inner confidence within them (I may be wrong lol).

But, it turns out that this girl is not actually into this guy. Apperently he likes her but she doesnt like him that way. For some reason I am drawn to her, havent felt like that in a while. But, we'll see!

Well that makes things a whole lot easier and less messy. Good Luck.

As for the psychology of attraction to low self confidence men, very overbarring, controlling women would want that.

I watched an episode of extreme couponing, where a wife spent 50 hours a week going over the internet to get coupon combos so she could buy stuff for free. She made her husband go with him and spend a whole day buying 12 grocery cart worth of stuff. Ended up being $1000 for $35 or so.

The house was full of decades worth of food supplies, household goods. Except for one room, which was they agreed was totally for him, but they were running out of space. He would complained to her she'd just steamroll him and he'd let it go.

She wouldn't want to be with a guy who would offer a lot of resistance.