[ACanthony]

Hello all. I'm 27 years old. I'm a very happy person and find much joy in life. I really worked at it the last couple years and now I'm happy to say I'm happy in my own skin and love who I am. I'm in a relationship now and the relationship is tricky (relationships are tough!) but it does give me much joy and I do see 'Sara' as a potential long term partner. However, I think our personalities are a little different. We do have arguments from time to time. When an argument happens, I dont' get over it until I know it's 100% over with. And when we argue I do get sad. I'm very sensitive and want to always know I make 'Sara' happy. But when we have an argument Sara will get over it real quick and doesn't see the need for me to keep bringing the issue up and making sure things are okay. So I guess my question is when an issue does come up, how do I remain happy and not let the problem bring me down? I'm so happy yet when I get into arguments with Sara (and this was in the past with any girl) I just get so pulled down. Thank you so much!!!

[LostGurl]

That's great that you feel good and happy....I think you should adapt Sara's behavior towards little issues....you can forget quickly too and that way you feel good all the time

[Leed]

It sounds like you're pretty insecure in your relationships. Perhaps you need more validation because you're not sure your partner is as commited as you are. I figure if she's getting over it soon, and the relationship is great otherwise, you don't NEED to question it -- you need to try to feel more secure in your "partnership." If you can't then perhaps this one isn't the "one" for you.

Or -- it might be a good idea to see a therapist to find out why you're so insecure. ???

Best of luck & God bless. I hope this works out. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

i agree with leed. it sounds as tho you have self esteem issues that you can resolve. sometimes i just am content and serene not necesarily "happy" and that's helpful to me in good times and bad.

people with low self-esteem tend to be less confident that other people perceive them in a positive light. They doubt whether strangers will like them, and they’re not sure if the people they’re close to will continue to like/love/accept/want them.
What’s important to note about low self esteem is that most people with “low self esteem” don’t see themselves consistently negatively. Most people with low self esteem are probably better described as having “fluctuating self esteem.”
Their self esteem might depend on their mood or what’s happened that day, or they might have OK self esteem in some domains and problem self esteem in other domains (e.g. they might be confident about their self worth in the work domain but not in the relationships domain or friendship domain).

perhaps you can relate to the quote. if so it may clarify what's going on with you. the positive side is that you can develop more self esteem which in turn eliminates your needing to be worried sara doesn't accept you/love u. here's some ways to accomplish that.

• Be curious. When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people. When you shift to being curious your perceptions go SWOOSH! and the world just opens up. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear. How do you become more curious? One way is to remember how life has become more fun in the past thanks to your curiosity and to remember all the cool things it helped you to discover and experience.
• Realize that fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation. As humans we like to look for patterns. The problem is just that we often find negative and not so helpful patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or by misjudging situations. Or through some silly miscommunication. When you get too identified with your thoughts you’ll believe anything they tell you. A more helpful practise may be to not take your thoughts too seriously. A lot of the time they and your memory are pretty inaccurate.

i hope these descriptions and tips may be helpful in overcoming your fears and insecurity. keep in mind this is just my interpretation of your post. i wish you well.