[estranged]

so things are not going very well..but since i don't have time to writte my hole story i'll just talk about the two things i ask help for..
1) 2 weeks ago i had a "fight" with my best friend and my other "best friend". I'll use A for my best friend and B for the other one.That was because everytime all 3 of us were together it felt like i didn't even exist..this has happened many times before not only with me but with A, and as B says, with her too...the thing is we never trusted her because she's not "the best kind of person" and we never wanted to or felt her very close to us.Anyway since that day i feel like our relatioship is reuined. I don't give a **** about B really but what's makes me really sad is what's happening with A.We've talked 2-3 times about this and i told her that i feel like she's choosing B over me but she told me she doesn't need to cause she never even felt B close to her.She told me she's not mad, that she really loves and doesn't want to lose me,that she'll be there anytime i need her (i have psycological problems, they caused everything :@) but wants to get away from everything for a while. i understand that perfectlly since I am the one who feels trapped all the time but the thing is that since then she's all the time with B at school and at weekends..She told me that's because they hang out with the same people but i see them most of the time alone or with her friends with who B doesn't really hang out. What am i supposed to do now? how am i supposed to act?

2) Now there's this guy in my class that i'm reaaaally into but i'm very shy and i don't know how to get close to him. could you pleeease give me some tips? i would really appreciate it..i want him to understand that i'm into him but discreetly. I want to get closer to him before the end of November. My best friend (A) knows how shy and insecure I am and because i never do anything to get close to the guys i like we had a bet that if i don't do something to get closer to him until the end of November I'll have to go and hug him (it may sound immature and stupid but anyway..). It's not only about the bet i really want to do something this time. so please help me?!

thanks to anyone who answers (if anyone does) i really appreciate any help given

[Perna]

Three-way relationships are very hard; I remember I was part of a threesome from age 5-8 and we always inevitably sent one of us home in tears or two of us leaving (if we were at the home of the one who was "out"). In high school I had only two friends and they had been friends of each other from before I moved there but we were all so different that we didn't have that much trouble, went to our 40th high school reunion together just a few years ago.

Don't try to deal with your friends as part of a threesome. Enjoy each for whatever you enjoy them for and just "hang out" when you are together, don't worry about who is talking to whom or about whom, etc. and try to keep talk between two of you about the third (when you are one of the two) to a minimum, it does not help anything. Of course B is going to agree with you about A when she's with you! A would agree with your about B when you are with A if you had something to say. You are the same; you would agree with whichever friend you are with? That's very natural.

If A is not friendly, if you do not enjoy being with her then why are you her friend? Go out and meet someone else if you are tired of just these two friends; meet others who aren't "best" friends but are enjoyable to be around too.

If you sit near the guy in class, ask to borrow his notes and compliment him on them? Even if you have to pretend you want to compare them to what you wrote or that you don't understand some part, talk about the immediate class/problem. I did that once and got a date eventually. Talking about class things, notes, etc. will give you an opportunity to say something about other things perhaps. Start with what you know and ask his opinions and listen to them; find out what he's studying and what he likes and maybe even get his help with something if it's different from what you are good at. You can gradually get into music and other interests.