[Wickedxlovely17]

I've been dating my boyfriend now for over a year. We have been friends for years, even dated once in high school, but it didn't go anywhere because we were too young. Now that we are older, though, we started dating again.

In the beginning everything was great. We were both affectionate, and seemed to be headed in the right direction. He would stay at my house almost every night before I went back to school. Now, with school and work, it has been very hard on us. We seemed to be getting through it, but then he tells me I've changed.

He said I'm not being nearly as affectionate as I used to be, and that he is even beginning to wonder if I even still have feelings for him, or if I am still attracted to him.

Although I know that I have changed I don't know why. It's nothing like being attracted to other men, because honestly, I don't look at other guys. I love my boyfriend and thought that we would be together for a long time. We have talked about getting married, having kids, etc. But now I'm starting to wonder if that will happen.

He says that I need figure myself out and figure out what is going wrong because he can't be in a relationship where he doesn't feel wanted. I totally understand this, but I have no idea why I changed or what is causing this change.

Can anyone help me?

[unaluna]

Have you started on the birth control pill recently? That can change things, I read an article a year or so ago.

[Inedible]

Sounds like he is pushing you away, and looking for a reason to split up. You said that you aren't looking at other guys, but is he avoiding looking at other gals?

[Wickedxlovely17]

Originally Posted by Inedible

Sounds like he is pushing you away, and looking for a reason to split up. You said that you aren't looking at other guys, but is he avoiding looking at other gals?

He doesn't really look at other girls, from what I know anyway. I mean, he was involved with me in the planning of our future. He says that he loves me, and wants to be with me for a long time, and even get married. It's apparently me that has changed over the past few months and he isn't feeling the same amount of affection from me anymore, like I've lost interest.

[Wickedxlovely17]

Originally Posted by hankster

Have you started on the birth control pill recently? That can change things, I read an article a year or so ago.

I've been on birth control for quite some time now. He is used to the random mood swings associated with that time of the month. He says this is different from that. I am on anti-depressants, but the dose has been the same for years now, and I have been taking it on schedule. That leads me to think this is something emotional.

[RomanSunburn]

Did you notice that you had changed before he said anything? I'm wondering if it is just the natural progression into being a long term couple, where you don't feel the immediate need for physical intimacy/affection. Plus, it sounds like you're pretty busy, and being pretty busy tends come with stress. Also, I'm wondering if you two simply have different ways of expressing love for the other, and in the beginning you were showing love in the way he understands, but now that you two are secure in your relationship, you're showing love the way you feel more comfortable, yet he doesn't understand? (Sorry, I'm reading the book, Things I Wish I Knew Before I got Married, by Gary Chapman, the same guy that wrote the book about love languages).

Another side note, I struggle with depression and I find, even when it's under control (either before by medications, or now without), I have these periods of time where I know I love my fiance, know it with all my heart and being, but at the same time, don't really feel it. It's hard to describe it, but when I mentioned it to my fiance, he understand (he was really depressed for awhile because of his previous job). Could something like this be happening?

Good luck, sending warm thoughts your direction!

[alliwantislove]

when your busy ur mind is all over the place and its hard to focus on just one thing. do you guys go on dates or any kind of getaways? u say u love him mayb show him that u still care and that u do love him and make him feel special again. do something spontaneous some you normally wouldnt do to spice things up again.