[LoveHopeStrength14]

I've known this friend for many years now and I find myself starting to have feelings for him for the first time. I'm 29 and he's 24 years old. He's always been my emotional support and at times I look for the qualities that he has in the guys that I meet. What I don't understand about him is that he doesn't want to get his driver license. He doesn't want to drive. He has his brothers and friends take him to the places that he needs to go. He's not a lazy guy that sits around and does nothing. He actually works very hard with at least 40 hours a week. He has good work ethics and he's a good friend. I still cant shake the fact that he doesn't want to drive. It makes me doubt his priorities in life, how driven he can be in life and how much dependent he is on others and wanting to become independent. He saids he doesn't like being under pressure when he's on the road, he doesn't like cops and the tests are hard.

Is this a dealbreaker for you?

[the lone wolf]

maybe something happened to him when he was younger that makes him afraid to drive.

[missbelle]

He might have a health problem that prohibits driving like epilepsy........see if he will share that

However my daughter is 31 and does not have a drivers license. She is a recovering alcoholic and she knew that if she was behind the wheel drunk she would kill herself or someone. Just now being sober she is looking into finally getting her license. Also she always lived in the city where transportation was easy

[Sabrina]

I don't drive and don't think I ever will. I have no depth perception, find the rules of the road just too much to wrap my head around and find myself anxious in traffic, even as a passenger. I have been told by thoughtless people that I don't have a life because I don't drive. I would give him space and not pressure him. He must have his own good reasons.

[unaluna]

My first husband drove like an idiot and caused accidents and once parked where a gasoline truck backed into us while he went to get cigarettes - in my neighborhood, as I told him it was NOT a parking spot, he was in a driveway, my legs could have been crushed or I could have been killed - THAT'S a dealbreaker, not what you're looking at! Agree, he could have some health or vision issues. In these "green" times, just as well he doesn't drive - you won't have to pay for 2 cars all the time, etc. If YOU are independent enough to drive, that is. My mother always drove us, altho my dad drove himself to do the local grocery shopping. He always carpooled to the factory, ie paid someone else to pick him up. We never took family vacations like driving cross country so that wasn't an issue. I guess I would find out the real reason why before going further. Maybe he did something stupid when he was younger that will always be a burden, and do you want to live with that burden?

[Inedible]

When I needed to get somewhere I would walk or take a bus. At one point I would walk between forty and fifty miles every week. It wasn't until I was 26 that I learned to drive, and that was private lessons. I never took driver's ed in school. My parents had me convinced that I couldn't learn to drive safely. It was a problem with getting jobs. People would ask how I intended to get to work on time and they were never impressed with walking or taking a bus. It wasn't until I could say that I can drive that they took me seriously.

I don't drive and I am 32 and the mom of three. My father was a race car driver, as children we always attended the races and witness numerous crashes and fires. I have so much anxiety around cars that I believe it would be unsafe for me to be behind the wheel. As I got older I have also lost my peripheral vision almost completey, again unsafe. I feel the pressure from others that they think I should be driving and do not understand. But I have a wonderful bf who does understand and thinks more than I do that I should not be driving. I am by no means lazy or any such thing. I don't understand why we all assume that we must drive in order to be approved as worthy adults.

I guess if I were you I would want to understand his reasons, and for me at least, I don't depend on others for rides, I have two feet or the bus, cab or my bike. I guess it might be another story if the non driver is totally dependent on others for transportation.

[Typo]

I find it strange, and only because I am from an area where there is no public transportation or anything within reasonable walking distance. Now that I have moved to a bigger area (still doesn't have the greatest public transport) I understand why some people don't drive, I use to have very severe anxiety about driving in cities because I was in a bad car accident when I was 15 that took my grandmother's life. I really didn't have the option to not learn to drive because of the rural status though. If I had, had access to public transport it may have been another story. I am actually friends with someone that doesn't have his license either and it doesn't make him any less motivated however it does sometime impare his ability to get a job.