I love myhusband.....

and I would never try to change who he is but.......he really needs to spend more time with the kids and I. It seems that his life consists of sleep, video games, and more sleep, and yet more video games. I really wish that he would be a more active father and husband....sometimes I feel like I am married to a wall. I don't mind that he plays video games, I know that he enjoys it and it's his stress reliever/escape/break from the world, but I wish that he could balance computer time and family time.

I feel so frustrated with him at times. Sometimes I think to myself that he would rather be a single guy with no kids, he sure doesn't show that he enjoys spending time with his family. And I feel like he led me on to believe he is someone that he is not when we first got together. He told me he wanted to have a big family, and that he is a family kind of guy. Now, he rarely even ever talks to his own family. He also told me that he felt like he raised himself, his parents were just "there". and he wants to be a better parent. Seems like he is following in the footsteps of his own parents, the only time he spends with the kids is if I have to get something done. He never just sits down and spends time with them, just to do it. I don't really know why I posted this, just needed to get it off my chest. I don't really need any advice, just someone to listen. I can't talk to anyone about this because they are so judgmental. I love my husband, I just want him to be more family oriented...

Yup! I feel your pain! I don't have kids though I can imagine how that makes it so much worse. I love my husband too, very much. I am right there with you on the video game thing and the do nothing on the days off idea. I recently found out he is using porn too but that is a different issue. You're not alone. Have a nice day.

yeah my husband uses porn too. I wouldn't mind if it didn't disrupt our sex life....
i posted the other day that before we had internet we did the deed all the time, but now it's a very rare thing..stupid effin porn....grrr

wow maybe our husbands could be best friends. do you feel like it's your fault? I do. I'm really working on trying not to think that way. he and I went to a home improvement store and department store last night and we had such a good time. we were laughing a lot. I really felt like maybe things will be ok. I'm so desperate for his attention it's very disturbing. oh ya guess who takes care of the dog he insisted we get?

I feel that way too at times. we also recently got to have an evening (just the two of us) and it was so much fun. But that happens so rarely (the time before that we had time to ourselves was when my son was conceived, and he will be a year old in a week) he had a great talk, and a really good time, things were really good for about a week, but slowly going back to the way they were before. i blame myself too, even though I know not many women would put up with what i do...lol

i kno exactly how you feel! my husband is a big time gamer! we have a 2 year old and she cant b around him when hes playing because he'll b a jerk to her especially if she interupts him. ive learned to deal with it and just let him have his own time. he does spend time with her not as much i would like. but when hes in his playing session i just dont let the baby near him. have you expressed how u feel about it to him?

Ya its like he is in a zone sometimes like he is at one with the game. I wish he'd be at one with me!

I have expressed my feelings to him,and his answer is that he needs time to himself, which is fine,but he goes way overboard with his time to himself... He gets home from workat 945pm and stays up playing games until the wee hours of the morning. on his days off he plays until like 8am then sleeps from somewhere between 6-8pm then does it all over again.

oh and last night at 230 am I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and walked in on him masturbating to porn...it pisses me off, because we never have sex, yet he can jerk it to porn everynight. to be honest, it kind of disgusts me...don't get me wrong, i'm not a prude but it ruins our sex life....im really regretting not leaving when he said he wanted a separation about a month ago....he is not putting in any effort at all

my husband used to do that. play in the wee hours. i guess you can get addicted to them. i used to try and play with him that way we get some us time. i think you really need to sit down with him and really look over your relationship. if its what he wants. theres no point in being in it if you dont feel wanted or happy. it takes 2 to tango. i think he has some issues he needs to resolve. there is a saying you dont know what u got until u lose it. if you feel that you are doing everything to salvage and try and make it work than u need to think twice about what you want.

i know a lot of people say counseling helps. it trully does have u tried it?

good luck!

we haven't tried it yet, but we are going to. we have set up several appts, but have had to cancel because of various reasons( no babysitter, work schedule) i really think that itwill help.