Got mad at a friend without any reason! :(

I dont like a classfellow and we share a room. I blame my friend ,who alsoshares the room,for me being stuck with this other girl. I cant even bear the sight oe her eace. She is not very annoying really, but i dont like her due to a couple of reasons.

Today i argued, stomped off and walked away from my two friends on the mention of this girl. That was me being so unreasonable. I still cant understand what happened to me. One friend has started talking to me on her own while the other (best friend) is mad at me for being so rude and unreasonable.

And frankly i havnt tried to make any amends so far,rather i continued being rude and arrogant.

This has happened before aswell a lot of times. The psychiatrist i was seeing had just said that i have attitude problem ,but didnt help me rectify my behaviour.

Im worried. I dont want to be this sort of person. Im left with only few ppl who care about me and i usually 'work hard' to push them away. What is this non sense.

When im in that particular bad mood, i try to console myself by saying that i dont need any friend, no one. But really, who can live alone and with social suicide?!! im scared of myself.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I think those of us who have been abused in childhood often push people away because we've been "programmed" to feel deep inside that closeness will lead to hurt ...

(pushing people away can include avoidance across the range of human behaviour to rudeness...)

My best to you,
Fuzzy

Fuzzybear: i wasnt abused as a child. Its got to do with something else.

Ya know we don't have to get along with everyone- not everyone i like and i don't expect everyone to like me- i am difficult and know it

The thing is - is there any way to not be around this person that so irritates you?

I have an issue a like at work- I really don't care for my 1st shift guy- I have to see him every day although- but over time I do find some common things we are a like in, and some times bring them up esp. if I am in a rather faul mood- I hate his way of "I know everything" when he really does not- so some times we don't even talk about work expcept the facts of what is running.

If there is any way to have space from a person you don't like--- take that route-
if your friends that you do like, hang out with this person, see if there can be events that only you and your friends you like go to.... space yourself out.

If that is entirely impossible --- Find new friends maybe or try to find a friendship with this person you don't like-- some times first impressions are not everything...

A friend should be able to have a little understanding and be willing to work with you- if they totally discard what you are feeling and see the emotions you have with this- (unless not explained to them) then..... maybe they arent a friend

Now I guess that part of () above-- have you talked to your friends on this
I don't mean to back talk about this person you dislike but tell your friends that you do like, that oyu don't quiet care for this person- you rather not be around them. Not that she is this, or this, you could bring up what some dislikes are- as i did above with my coworker- but ya know, a lot of times, humans can find common ground luckily

best wishes your way