[drdoolittle]

my ex and ger family suffer from mental health issues including abusiveness in thier family...my kids are now 14 and 16 but they are suffering from it also...how do i tell them without bad mouthing? are they too young? I must help them understand without being the liar or bad guy...sighh I hate to see them abused also....but they dont know any different..

[kindachaotic]

Who do they live with?

How are they being abused?

[kindachaotic]

Originally Posted by kindachaotic

Who do they live with?

How are they being abused?

There are also laws to protect your children.

[faerie_moon_x]

Even with mental health issues, abuse is never okay, it is not an "excuse." If they are being abused where they live, then they need to be removed into a better environment. Aubse is a cycle and children who grow up in abusive homes will continue that cycle. Abuse and mental illness may be common together, but it is not always the case. No one deserves to live in an abusive home. Also if an illness is putting children in danger physically, it is possible that the abuser may get into some type of treatment by the courts or something, which may be a good thing if that person is refusing. The only time treatment is mandatory is if you're a danger for yourself or others.

I have an illness, but I am not abusive. Even with this illness I am still responsible for my actions.

As for telling the children about a mental illness in the family, do you know for a fact the person is diagnosed? It appears that mental illness is genetic. So, yes, it is a good idea to be informed of your family history. Just like diabetes, heart disease, asthma, cancer, etc. it is good to know that bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, ADD, and so on all exist in a family.

But you don't want to say, "Well so and so hits you because they have _________." Instead it should be a health discussion. It shouldn't be in response to the abuse, but it should be discussed at some point.